Last week I was very defiant about not exercising, due, no doubt to the fact that I was feeling physically crummy (stomach cramps). I had no problem turning down offers to go for a walk, despite knowing that exercise is supposed to be good for alleviating cramping (though the thought of doing anything more than moaning in a horizontal position seemed like too much to ask).

Over the weekend there was a day when I didn’t go to bed until 7:00am because of that little distraction I’ve been working on, leaving me sleep-deprived, cranky and unmotivated to exercise.

But the above are excuses and I need to get back on the wagon. I’m dreading returning to the exercise dvd because I know it will be hard and I’ll be in pain again…but that’s the risk I took when I decided to give up exercising.

My colleague loaned me the book I mentioned in the last entry (Women Food and God) and I’m reading it…slowly. I’m resisting this book in a way I never did with the book on Mr. Good Enough. I don’t want to hear that I have to change my approach to food, even though it’s apparent that I’ll have to if I want to be able to wear a size that begins with a 1 sometime in my life (and I’m not talking about size 100!). I don’t like the part of me that shies away from things that are difficult, like losing weight, but the key to my success will be using all of me, including this part, to rebuild a version of me that can face her challenges and succeed.

But finding that motivation is difficult.

What else is going on in my life?

• My youngest brother turned 22 yesterday and the whole family went out for dinner. The times when the six of us are together are becoming rarer and rarer.
• I had my one-year home inspection last week and the builder is coming in this Friday to fix my mostly nit-picky issues. I’ve actually rethought some of my complaints and may be telling them not to bother because I’d rather have an almost imperceptible bump on my wall than the dark plaster that they’ll use to smooth things out (but that they won’t paint over because paint isn’t covered after a year)
• I am attending two weddings within three weeks of each other in Toronto. I’m looking forward to getting away.
• Bluesfest is back again and although I’m signed up to volunteer, none of the acts have grabbed my attention overly much.

I’m going to give it a valiant effort though, and see how I do.

Let me leave you with the following house-related updates:

1. I still don’t have curtains up. It’s not a big deal because my bedroom is way up high. But winter is coming, and there’s that wee fact that I’ve lived here for um, six full months now.
2. The bed in my guest room is covered in papers that I have been sorting for at least three months now. The sunlight shining on them (see point 1) has probably rendered them unreadable by now.
3. I need extra storage in my kitchen for things like a (surplus) bag of flour, potatoes and similar things, appliances I don’t use often. Maybe I just need to reorganize my kitchen’s current storage situation, but if you have any good suggestions, do share! Maybe I’ll include the area that I was thinking this hypothetical storage could go.
4. I had this dream of having fresh flowers in my house regularly but so far I haven’t bought even one bouquet (I do have a wilted mum from Thanksgiving beside me as I type this).
5. I need to get the following repaired: a bit of the ceiling in my dining area, my kitchen’s hood fan and the place where the carpet meets the floor of my kitchen.
6. I haven’t turned the heat on in my place yet! Living on the top level seems to be working to my advantage.

But since it is…

House
I’m frustrated with the politics of home ownership. As I mentioned before, although I moved into my house in mid-April, I was under what was called “interim occupancy” because the property is treated as a condominium and as a result the building has to be registered with the city. Because of this I have not been paying my mortgage but rather rent for my house. This rent does not go toward the mortgage payment (argh), so I wanted this period of renting to be as short as possible. I had to provide checks for half of April, and all of May, June and July. I was told the place should be registered by June.

It wasn’t.

I found out it was registered on July 24, so I got excited and shared how thankful I was that I could now get on with homeownership. I thought I would have to go in and sign some papers saying that as of July 24 or maybe 25, I was a homeowner (officially), and I’d even get a week’s worth of rent payment back for July and move on with things.

Of course, it is not proving to be that easy.

The builder picked August 20 as the closing date. I have no idea why I have to wait nearly a month to begin paying the mortgage, and I have contacted my lawyer and the builder on this issue and both are in the process of figuring out what is going on.

It’s silly to get worked up about it since I likely can’t change any of the process but it grates on my nerves and now I’m worried that I might lose the great mortgage rate I got if this drags on any longer because they can only lock in a rate for a certain amount of time.

Online dating
Speaking of frustrations, this aspect of my life hasn’t been that horrible at all but I’m ready to throw in the towel and remove myself from the two dating sites I’m on. I just don’t enjoy the process of getting to know men that I wouldn’t normally try to get to know. Why am I getting to know them then? Well, because I am known to be rigid and “too picky” so I’m trying to be less so. I’m irritated with men who claim to be “so interested” in me but then don’t show it with their actions (I’m thankful that they aren’t leading me on though). Even though I’m not interested in them, I want them to back up their claims of being interested in me. Typical, I know, and so very lame. The process has been confidence-enhancing though despite my frustrations. I won’t lie: I have been tempted more than once to settle and do the very things I’d smack a friend for doing when it comes to these men, but I have managed to reign myself in before any actions that I’d regret in the longterm took place.

Lost
Speaking of things I am seeking, I cannot find my smart serve number which I need in order to volunteer at a festival that’s coming up in a couple of weeks. I feel that I have looked through my belongings in a pretty methodical way, but I have no idea if it’s at my house or my parents’ place, or if I threw it away two years ago and I’m wasting my time looking. I could just order a new card but I’m cheap and I don’t want to pay for my carelessness.

Scared
I have to do a blood test; it’s the final piece of my annual physical from five months ago. The form that indicates what I need to be tested for is valid for only a few more weeks so I need to get the test over with already. I always procrastinate this part of my physical exam because blood tests don’t lie, and I like to waste my time pondering illnesses I could have instead of finding out the logical way. I feel my bad health choices are going to catch up with me soon and it’s terrifying, but I keep praying that this won’t be the time. Why can’t I stop eating so much candy already?

Despite all this, I managed to find a cd I’ve been looking for for over four months and some money that I guess I was saving for a rainy day. My mom went through a dental procedure without much trouble and and my dad celebrated 59 years of life over the weekend. And these latter two things far outweigh everything else in this entry.

I have a “30-day” inspection coming up in a couple of weeks where I can share all of my concerns but the above are still annoying me in the meantime. One nice thing is the builder has organized a Home Maintenance Information Session that should give me an opportunity to learn how to fix these annoyances or the others that will come up, and meet the people who live around me, so we can provide each other with a shoulder to cry on when our fridges decide to explode.

I do so hate to complain (you’re shocked, I know), especially when there are far more “complaint-worthy” things going on my life is not even close to being horrendous, but this place has always been for sharing the good and the bad (though it seems I’m sharing more of the bad lately). This too will pass, and I hope that I never have any big complaints.

I did have some lovely visitors yesterday, my family! They really brightened up the whole experience for me because to be frank I haven’t been really that delighted over the whole moving out thing. It’s weird: it’s not that I hate living on my own, it’s just that I’m really not over the moon about it. I’m not excited. Moving day itself started with a lot of problems but they worked out and I was so grateful to the friends that showed up. I imagined my days of unpacking and getting settled a bit differently than the reality, and thought I’d have friends calling left and right to ask if I needed help. Some had offered me their used/unwanted belongings and I thought they’d follow up on that. In short, I thought it would be all about me, but learned that other people have lives too. I’m still reeling from this discovery. :) But seriously, I think I thought more of a fuss would be made so that made me feel unloved. But I’m over that now.

Back to my family. First off, my mother had been running trying to find the larger items I need (couches, bedroom set) at various furniture stores, putting them on hold for me to go and view (and invariably declare I hate them). I did like two dining room chairs she spotted though, so I bought them. I found a sofa and loveseat that I love but their price tag seems to be missing a sale sign and a discount of some sort. I’m not in a rush anyway. I decided I wanted dark brown wood for my bedroom set and I found something I liked (though in a brown/black) at Ikea. My dad wanted to know why I didn’t buy it and it was then he learned that shopping and not getting a deal on my purchase physically hurts me. Since I found what I wanted, my parents insisted we meet at the store with their more robust automobile, and we picked up all the pieces and headed home.

My father got to work putting together the dining table that had been sitting on the floor for over a week. They bought me a nice floor lamp too, which was on my list so that was assembled. They also brought food! And dessert: my mom and sister brought the fixings for dinner and whipped up dinner while I lounged on the floor (just like I’d do at their house!). My brothers (who arrived later) were put to work assembling my beds and the night table (abandoned by me earlier in the evening — too many boring steps that have to be followed exactly).

It was just like old times, down to my brothers ordering pizza because they weren’t interested in what my mom was preparing. We ate, my beer guzzling brother drank merrily and they headed home, leaving order in their wake, nearly five hours later.

There is nothing like cheap labour, and labours of love.

This will be my fifth year volunteering, and I intend to sign up to work in the beer tents again, selling beer to all and sundry (provided they have valid identification and money of course).

I’m looking forward to seeing:

• King Sunny Ade (a Nigerian artist and veritable legend! My parents, my sister and I saw him a few years ago and it was quite the experience. Since he will be performing on my mother’s birthday, I think I have a perfect birthday gift idea!)
• Femi Kuti (my sister and I saw him at the ‘fest two years ago)
• Divine Brown (she was last in the area a couple of months ago, but I didn’t get my act together in time to see her at that time)
• Estelle
• Matisyahu (a Hasidic Jew who sings reggae music? I was hooked on his song King Without A Crown a few years back so I have to see him live)
• Ludacris (I can’t name a single one of his songs but how can I not see him?)
• other artists that have now escaped me, but that I’m too lazy to look up

I’m looking forward to working during the peformances of:

• KISS
• Blue Rodeo
• Ben Harper
• Styx
• Our Lady Peace

because I know the crowd will be a lot of fun. Fans of these kinds of artists tend to be very chatty, very upbeat and all about having a good time.

Who on the list (see here) would you want to see?

The Day went pretty smoothly. I originally booked the entire day off from work because I love not having to go to work and this is a Big Deal, but a couple of things, including the fact that nothing would be happening in the morning, my lawyer is about a 10 minute bus ride from my work (but a 20 drive from home…my parents’ home? Awww) and I know I’ll be wanting to take time off from work to set up my house led to me deciding to work in the morning.

I worked my butt off in the morning, no doubt trying to rush the day along. It worked. I left the office around 12:25pm, waited for the bus for ten minutes, wound up at the lawyer’s office at 12:55pm and was out of the office (after signing the requisite documents and handing over five cheques, some post dated) by 1:02pm. I was told to return in an hour. I returned at 2:08pm and had the keys in my hand by 2:11pm at the latest. It was quite exciting!

I took the bus home (awww, my parents’ home) and arrived at 2:54pm. My mom and youngest brother were there so I showed them my (still sealed) envelope containing the keys, ripped it open and marvelled at the beauty of the two sets of keys I received (but only one keychain…cheapskates!). I had to go sort out my insurance so I went to do that. My brother tagged along because he had an errand to run, and the plan was originally to go and see the house. But then I thought of my sister who due to her very unaccomodating work schedule hadn’t been able to take part in much of the preliminary stuff, and I knew she’d be happy if I went with her to the house for the first time so I decided to wait for her to come home. Also, I hate making multiple trips and I knew the moment I got to the house she’d call me to come and pick her up and take her there. On a good day she’s home around 5:30pm.

It was not a good day.

I was surprised by how antsy and impatient I was to see the place. I mean sheesh! I saw it just last week!

While waiting for her I loaded the car up with things that I might be embarrassed for people to see me hauling in…like my seven containers of liquid laundry detergent, my 54 rolls of toilet paper (I counted!), my seven tubes of tooth paste and five boxes of tin foil…you get the idea. The house already looks lived in thanks to these things.

We got there and it was lovely! There was a little card and welcome bag waiting for me. Everything was plugged in and ready to go and the house was quite cozy. Of course my critical eye noticed a lot more tiny imperfections that I didn’t have a chance to notice last week because I was excited.

I kept repeating out loud that it was SURREAL. I’ve seen the place a few times in the last month but this was the first time that my brain had to wrap itself around the fact that it was MY PLACE, that I will live there. It will eventually contain all the things that I consider necessary for making a home. WILD! It’ll take some getting used to.

The day was originally supposed to be a family day. I envisioned my parents and siblings and I running around squealing but guess what? My dad doesn’t squeal (my mom would indulge me, naturally!). My brothers, aged 20 and 22, didn’t in their words “want to be stuck there for hours”. They wanted the 10 minute tour and wanted to be returned home to play video games. I declined. And my parents had previous plans that I knew of but had forgotten because the world is supposed to revolve around me. They didn’t get that memo though. As a result, family day will likely be Sunday. Moving day is Saturday (if the truck I booked can be picked up earlier than the 4pm they indicated. Who moves at 4pm?). And today and tomorrow are for the 48 hour inspection and packing my stuff. I think I’ll be pulling an all-nighter on Friday!

I had my first visitors though, and they claimed it took them only 20 minutes to walk to my place but I have my doubts. I’ll have to test out this theory, because I thought they lived further than 20 minutes away.

Are you wondering why there aren’t any pictures of me doing new home owner related things such as signing the biggest check I’ll write in the next five years? Or of my very first visitors? Well, my camera had performance anxiety and totally crapped out on me.

I may have left it on for the past week, but I’m not sure. The battery is currently being charged and we’ll see if that was the problem.

But yay: new house! Very exciting! Thanks for sharing in the excitement with me…I do appreciate it!

Two shots of the kitchen (the lovely lady is my momma):

The kitchen nook (future crafting area):

The carpet that I’m apparently worried about dirtying:

A bit of my bathroom (I am in love with those tiles):

Tomorrow is the big day! I cannot believe it!

• My pre-delivery inspection (PDI) went well: only minor complaints were noted. I decided against hiring an outside inspector to join us during this PDI (did I mention I was considering it?) because I’m trying to keep costs down and any important thing that an inspector would find relating to either the materials that make up the place or the structural integrity of the place, is covered by warranty for a year, minimum, so it might be more beneficial to have the inspector come in six months to a year from now, when everything is in place (the balconies are not yet finished), and anything that he notices can be taken up with the builder at that time.
• I cannot believe I get the keys to the place in three days. My stomach gets knotty when I think about it. I know I’ll be thrilled to have my own place, and if I were to make a list of all the positives of this move, I’d fill a sheet of paper without much trouble. However, I am seriously having second thoughts and I can’t say with 100% certainty that I’d make this same move at this time if I could do it again: not surprisingly, I’d have delayed it a year or two. Why? Just to have more time at home. Why? I don’t know. Yes, I know I don’t want to live at home forever, and it did feel like it was time, but I wonder if I got carried away with my whole “I can’t live at home forever, waiting for Prince Charming to sweep me away”, and other girl power declarations. I’m going to miss my family sooo much. It’s uncool to say that but I don’t care. I will miss them a lot, and even though I’m not moving out of the city it won’t be the same, it’ll never be the same again. Maybe I’m just nervous, maybe all of this makes me a big mama’s and daddy’s girl but that’s the truth of it. I don’t need any comfort, I just need to be fair to the feelings I’m having, and the tears that will try to drown me this week (especially since moving week happens to fall during the time of the month where I prove again that I am not pregnant). I know I’ll be fine.
• I’m blessed with wonderfully supportive family and friends. I have had more people that I need offer to help with the move, so I need to figure out how many people I actually need and tell them when and where to show up. I need to look into renting a truck and get ORGANIZED.
• My packing is coming along. I bought labels for my many boxes and plastic storage containers, but the labels are permanent and I don’t want them stuck directly to my “Rubbermaid” containers because of that. I’m therefore wrestling with packing tape and the labels (which will remain stuck to their backing). My room is so cluttered that I don’t have a spot to stack packed boxes. It’s very annoying.
• I have the following large items to bring with me:
  • my mattress and boxspring
  • a bookshelf/display cabinet thingy
  • a diningroom table and 4 chairs
• I was going to take the time to do a really good purge of school material I hadn’t yet gotten rid of, paystubs from my first job at age 14 onwards, newspaper and magazine articles I have clipped in the past, and craft supplies I don’t need, but I don’t have that kind of time anymore (surprise!). That junk will be coming with me to my new place. Perhaps on those nights when taking the bus to visit my family sounds like too much work, or I’m suffering from insomnia, I can tackle the boxes.
• I’m tempted to move everything myself because I’m already shuddering at the thought of my walls being marked up and my carpet dirtied by people on moving day. We’re usually a tad more careless with other people’s belongings so I’d like to minimize the chances of dirt or stains happening. It was suggested that some of us could stay in the house and receive boxes from people unloading the moving van and that makes great sense, and should calm me down a bit. I’m also cringing at the thought of my carpets and the pizza and drinks that will be offered to thank my friends and family. Can I insist they eat and drink in the kitchen and nook? Will they look at me in horror?
• I will be car-less for a while. I have no idea how long. I doubt I will enjoy it. I have come to depend on having an automobile around when the urge to go to Walmart comes. I will live closer to a Walmart but it’s a long walk…I plan to walk it and time it one day.
• I bought a broom and dustpan last night. All I need are sponges and garbage bags then I’ll feel officially ready for this move.

I’ll stop there…Happy Easter!