Not surprisingly I want some fun adventures this year, and I want to do things I haven’t gotten around to doing. Things like:

A road trip where I’m the main driver
The furthest away I’ve driven is two hours or about 200 km away but my youngest brother mentioned going to the USA for shopping before September, so I suggested we make it a sibling thing and rent a car. I’ll never say no to outlet shopping so I’m looking forward to this.

Getting a hair cut and colour
I’ve gotten trims and very simple hair cuts before but this time I want a real cut, something sassy. I’ve never coloured my hair so that’ll be something. The cut I’m thinking of (which one of my friends was sporting when I ran into her this past weekend, funny enough) requires me to grow my hair a bit more so I’ll colour first.

Learning to run
So two years ago, I did a walk/run to raise money for a cause dear to my heart. My time was slower than I hoped, and I had grossly underestimated how far five kilometres is by foot. I haven’t run since.

But a crazy colleague has convinced me that a learn to run program is what we need in our lives and she simultaneously convinced me that it won’t kill us (me). We start in two weeks.

I decided to go out and try what we’ll be doing the first week: run for one minute, walk for two minutes, repeat a trillion (or maybe 6-8) times. The good news is I managed to run for a minute without stopping (yes, I am that out of shape); the bad news is I could only do four sets before I switched to walking alone. The worst news is today, the day after, I feel like I tried a new form of exercise that showed me who’s boss; either that or I was doing squats in my sleep. I feel it in my (fl)abs too.

Eating yogurt
I’m a very picky eater. I have never knowingly ingested salad dressing, dips, cottage cheese, sour cream and yogurt. My crazy colleague (yeah, the same one) made me try a dessert yogurt (120 calories, 3.5% milk fat) and it was pretty good! I wonder if I can try a non-dessert yogurt without gagging; I’ve bought some and I’ll let you know how that goes.

I want to end this with a challenge: can you think of something that you don’t think I’ve done that I really should do? All reasonable suggestions will be considered, and by “reasonable” I mean any suggestion that won’t bankrupt or embarrass me. I’m not looking for thrills so much as things that will shake my life up a bit and provide me with great memories.

Updated to add:

A trip to Europe in 2011 or 2012
This is another sibling plan. I don’t know where we’ll go, but England (well, London more than anything), France or Italy are sounding good so far.

Dinner was chicken parmesan, caesar salad and garlic bread, and we let D.airy Queen take care of dessert.

My sister and Brother #2 slept over (Brother #1 wasn’t very sold on the idea of hanging out with us to begin with, but he was also working at the crack of dawn the following day). The best thing about having family sleeping over is you can head to bed before your guests do, which is exactly what I did.

We woke up, watched Nigeria’s first football (soccer) game in the World Cup and enjoyed pancakes, bacon and eggs for brunch.

Everyone had a good time and they want to do it again. My goal is to play hostess to them in this particular way every other month. It’ll give me a chance to try new recipes and help us transition our relationship into an adult one.

***

I turned 31 five days ago and 31 feels a lot like 30. The year went by quickly, but at the same time it feels like a long time since I showed up woefully late for my 30th birthday dinner. I didn’t have any plans in mind and at first I was going to try and get something organized but then the day passed and it just didn’t feel like it was worth the hassle. I’m beyond thankful to have made it to 31 and I guess I’m happy celebrating in a lowkey way. Gone are days of dinner out followed by clubbing. Woe!

***

I didn’t exactly sit at home on my birthday though: Brother #2 had his graduation ceremony in the morning (my mom, sister and I hollered when they called his name; it’s tradition). My baby brother is growing up. It’s just amazing to see my younger siblings grow into adults (selfish and disrespectful at times). Anyway, I didn’t spend too much time mulling over that because my sister and I left to go camping with friends right after the graduation. We had a good time. The usual tensions that come up when six adults with different ideas on a number of topics have to work together came up.

***

I managed to kill this beautiful hibiscus plant. I’m really sad about it and I can’t figure out how it went from a beautiful and vibrant plant to a half dead and sad-looking plant but I’m hoping the fresh soil and plant food I’ve given it will do some good. So much for being a green thumb!

***

Last but not least, there was an earthquake in our city today! The epicentre of the magnitude 5.0 quake (I sound like a news reporter) was about 70km from our city. I was at work when the earthquake happened and we definitely felt it. I got my workout running down 13 flights of stairs to evacuate the building. At first we were the only office in the building running down the stairs but by the time I got to the ninth floor, people started joining us in the stairwell, which increased my speed. Luckily all went well and we eventually returned to our office. Of course it all felt very anticlimactic after that.

And that’s where I’ll close this very mundane entry.

Why was I crying? Maybe it was the Women Food and God book that is challenging me to look at the why of overeating. That book has some interesting passages to ponder. Like:

Sometimes people will say, “But I just like the taste of food. In fact, I love the taste! Why can’t it be that simple? I overeat because I like food.”

Overeating does not lead to rapture. It leads to burping and farting and being so sick that you can’t think of anything but how full you are. That’s not love; that’s suffering.

When it comes to sweets, I overeat, definitely past the point where I am satisfied. I have this need to finish the bag of candy or a row of cookies, and I am not good at stopping when I’m full because I never ask myself if I’m full when I’m eating. If there is something tasty before me, I feel the need to finish it.

All of that to say that I’ve been thinking about what I may be trying to avoid by losing myself in food. There may not be a deep underlying reason that has led to this, and I have to be careful not to focus so much on figuring things out that I never get to the part of the book where I put the core principles into action. I’m a fan of mindless eating. Mindless eating is not so good. Thinking about all of this is bringing up insecurities, some which may be related to overeating and some which may not be. Whatever the case, looking at insecurities is never pleasant.

But to be honest I don’t think that’s what made me teary, though it may another day.

There are some family issues that are weighing on my mind, and I’ve always been a rabid worrier when it comes to my family. Worrying does nothing but age me and lead to unpleasant physical manifestations, so I’m trying to stop worrying. This is where being a Christian, albeit one who uses God as a spare tire (call on him when I’m stranded) rather than a steering wheel (use regularly to guide the way), helps. Prayer, or for those who don’t believe in God, meditation, is really a good way to ground yourself when dealing with situations you can’t control. If I say a quick word of prayer it definitely gives me some peace, but since I don’t have a lot of faith, it’s easy for me to slide back into my old ways. So, regular prayer is going to be back on my to do list (it never left; it just wasn’t getting done).

Howver, it was probably the article I read on the bus on the way to work, the one that mentioned an artist’s blindness as a result of complications with diabetes that upset me. My mom is diabetic and everything from ads on tv about the disease to articles that casually throw in something like the above detail about the artist, always upset me. Did you hear of that computer programmer who designed something that would block Jus.tin Be.iber references from your computer screen? I want the same for diabetes (though knowing what is being blocked probably wouldn’t help; I want it to just remove the presence of the word). Again, I can’t control my mom’s condition; I can only help her with the part that I can control: help around the house so that she has more time and energy for exercise, or join her for exercise (a great suggestion from my colleague and from other friends who have heard my woes and seen me cry over this situation).

I’ve also been wanting to spend more QUALITY time with my parents. When I go over, it’s not at a planned time or day, so although they are usually there, sometimes they are not, or they have other things to attend to. I’d like to spend actual time with them, doing something they like and really relishing the time we have together. My colleague suggested setting a date for Sundays where I go over and help my mom cook meals for the week or for the next few days. I’m not a fan of the kitchen but since this isn’t about me, I think it’s a great idea, one I know my mom would appreciate.

I have also been lax at having siblings (and people generally) over. That has to change, even if it means I have to stop letting my dishes pile up before washing them, and even if it means I have to get my paper clutter under control. I want to socialize chez moi!

(Quick update on the exercising: I got back on that wagon on May 30, a Saturday (14 days later), skipped the Monday and Tuesday but managed to do it Wednesday and Thursday. I was really tempted to do it yesterday but I feeling very sore. I will do it today though. I also walked twice during the week!)

Last week I was very defiant about not exercising, due, no doubt to the fact that I was feeling physically crummy (stomach cramps). I had no problem turning down offers to go for a walk, despite knowing that exercise is supposed to be good for alleviating cramping (though the thought of doing anything more than moaning in a horizontal position seemed like too much to ask).

Over the weekend there was a day when I didn’t go to bed until 7:00am because of that little distraction I’ve been working on, leaving me sleep-deprived, cranky and unmotivated to exercise.

But the above are excuses and I need to get back on the wagon. I’m dreading returning to the exercise dvd because I know it will be hard and I’ll be in pain again…but that’s the risk I took when I decided to give up exercising.

My colleague loaned me the book I mentioned in the last entry (Women Food and God) and I’m reading it…slowly. I’m resisting this book in a way I never did with the book on Mr. Good Enough. I don’t want to hear that I have to change my approach to food, even though it’s apparent that I’ll have to if I want to be able to wear a size that begins with a 1 sometime in my life (and I’m not talking about size 100!). I don’t like the part of me that shies away from things that are difficult, like losing weight, but the key to my success will be using all of me, including this part, to rebuild a version of me that can face her challenges and succeed.

But finding that motivation is difficult.

What else is going on in my life?

• My youngest brother turned 22 yesterday and the whole family went out for dinner. The times when the six of us are together are becoming rarer and rarer.
• I had my one-year home inspection last week and the builder is coming in this Friday to fix my mostly nit-picky issues. I’ve actually rethought some of my complaints and may be telling them not to bother because I’d rather have an almost imperceptible bump on my wall than the dark plaster that they’ll use to smooth things out (but that they won’t paint over because paint isn’t covered after a year)
• I am attending two weddings within three weeks of each other in Toronto. I’m looking forward to getting away.
• Bluesfest is back again and although I’m signed up to volunteer, none of the acts have grabbed my attention overly much.

Similarly when someone in the family says something unbelievable and we want to confirm that it is in fact a truth and not a lie, we will ask “Trusting Gods?” This one makes me laugh when I think of what we’re actually saying because it makes no real sense. I mean we are a Christian household so perhaps we’re trying to say “If you trust in God you wouldn’t lie to me”? I have no idea how it developed but that is definitely our version of “For real?” or “Are you serious?”

We are an odd bunch, from my dad, who is the king of made up words, to my mom who has cute turns of phrase like “I bursted into cry” instead of “I burst into tears” (likely due to the fact that English is not her first language).

What expressions or traditions does your family use or have that would seem weird to an outsider?

The other tradition I wanted to start is one where my sister will sleep over at my place on Christmas Eve, and we’ll head over to my parents place on Christmas Day. Our church holds a Christmas Eve service that is usually over by 8:30pm, so the plan was we’d head over to my place and watch movies and hang out. We ended up going to my parents’ place before heading to my place, and for one reason or another we didn’t arrive at my place until after 1 o’clock in the morning. We proceeded to talk for several hours before retiring well into Christmas morning.

Our family tried doing a Secret Santa gift exchange for the first time, one where each person selects a name and buys for that one person. Since some family members didn’t like not being able to buy gifts for others, people who wanted to could buy (smaller) gifts for other people they wanted to buy for. It worked out fairly well despite all the complaints I heard prior to Christmas Day (regarding why it had to be a secret Santa, not wanting to buy for the person they had selected, etc). I was the only one who was genuinely surprised by the person who had chosen my name (brother #1).

There were some unexpected tears: a particularly heartwarming moment between Brother #1 and my sister cued the waterworks (as Brother #1 is fond of saying), and each of us received a piece of artwork from an acquaintance of my mom’s. She (acquaintance) has fibromyalgia, which leaves her in pain a large part of the time but she uses her artwork to distract her from the physical pain. Each year she selects ten people to make artwork for and this year our family was among that number. The card and note she included with the gift was very touching, and we were all moved.

We don’t get up early to open gifts anymore, now that my siblings are men, so it was around midday by the time we were finished with the gift opening. I took a nap because I knew I’d have to rest up for Boxing Day…more on that later. But back to the idea of Christmas traditions, what are some things that must happen or be done for it to feel like Christmas to you?

I received a comment on my other blog that made me laugh (eventually) at the backhandedness of the “compliment”, if you can call it that. A new reader said she was glad she decided to read my blog despite having heard bad stuff about it. She then commended me for admitting that I couldn’t cook something that is old hat for most Nigerians. I guess she was just being honest but couldn’t she have done that on this blog? At least this blog is whiny and moany and “woe is me”-y. That blog at least tries to be positive and encouraging. Hmmph!

Something I realized as a blogger and someone who enjoys confiding in friends is that I have few secrets that nobody knows about (at least in part). Whenever I decide to keep something to myself this time around, someone will ask a question that has me squealing and revealing all. The funny thing is that I’m reallly good at keeping other people’s secrets. A close friend of mine used to get so mad at me because I wouldn’t tell her a secret told to me by a mutual friend and that she had to wait until everyone else to find out. Just don’t trust me with my own secrets!

But since it is…

House
I’m frustrated with the politics of home ownership. As I mentioned before, although I moved into my house in mid-April, I was under what was called “interim occupancy” because the property is treated as a condominium and as a result the building has to be registered with the city. Because of this I have not been paying my mortgage but rather rent for my house. This rent does not go toward the mortgage payment (argh), so I wanted this period of renting to be as short as possible. I had to provide checks for half of April, and all of May, June and July. I was told the place should be registered by June.

It wasn’t.

I found out it was registered on July 24, so I got excited and shared how thankful I was that I could now get on with homeownership. I thought I would have to go in and sign some papers saying that as of July 24 or maybe 25, I was a homeowner (officially), and I’d even get a week’s worth of rent payment back for July and move on with things.

Of course, it is not proving to be that easy.

The builder picked August 20 as the closing date. I have no idea why I have to wait nearly a month to begin paying the mortgage, and I have contacted my lawyer and the builder on this issue and both are in the process of figuring out what is going on.

It’s silly to get worked up about it since I likely can’t change any of the process but it grates on my nerves and now I’m worried that I might lose the great mortgage rate I got if this drags on any longer because they can only lock in a rate for a certain amount of time.

Online dating
Speaking of frustrations, this aspect of my life hasn’t been that horrible at all but I’m ready to throw in the towel and remove myself from the two dating sites I’m on. I just don’t enjoy the process of getting to know men that I wouldn’t normally try to get to know. Why am I getting to know them then? Well, because I am known to be rigid and “too picky” so I’m trying to be less so. I’m irritated with men who claim to be “so interested” in me but then don’t show it with their actions (I’m thankful that they aren’t leading me on though). Even though I’m not interested in them, I want them to back up their claims of being interested in me. Typical, I know, and so very lame. The process has been confidence-enhancing though despite my frustrations. I won’t lie: I have been tempted more than once to settle and do the very things I’d smack a friend for doing when it comes to these men, but I have managed to reign myself in before any actions that I’d regret in the longterm took place.

Lost
Speaking of things I am seeking, I cannot find my smart serve number which I need in order to volunteer at a festival that’s coming up in a couple of weeks. I feel that I have looked through my belongings in a pretty methodical way, but I have no idea if it’s at my house or my parents’ place, or if I threw it away two years ago and I’m wasting my time looking. I could just order a new card but I’m cheap and I don’t want to pay for my carelessness.

Scared
I have to do a blood test; it’s the final piece of my annual physical from five months ago. The form that indicates what I need to be tested for is valid for only a few more weeks so I need to get the test over with already. I always procrastinate this part of my physical exam because blood tests don’t lie, and I like to waste my time pondering illnesses I could have instead of finding out the logical way. I feel my bad health choices are going to catch up with me soon and it’s terrifying, but I keep praying that this won’t be the time. Why can’t I stop eating so much candy already?

Despite all this, I managed to find a cd I’ve been looking for for over four months and some money that I guess I was saving for a rainy day. My mom went through a dental procedure without much trouble and and my dad celebrated 59 years of life over the weekend. And these latter two things far outweigh everything else in this entry.

I’m 30 and I feel great! 30 is just a number…a very big number, but it’s a milestone that I feel blessed to have reached. So I celebrated.

On my actual birthday I went to Red Lobster for dinner with my family. How I love seafood! So yummy. Then we went back to my place for dessert…not that we had dessert…or so I thought! My mom had actually bought our traditional icecream cake and dropped it off at the house earlier (they have a key). It was funny because as I went to open the door to the house, I said that I wouldn’t be surprised if she had been in my house earlier in the day and put the cake in the freezer, but I didn’t think she would have thought of that, especially when she claimed to not have her key. I’m not even sure why I mentioned it. I went upstairs to get something and when I entered my room I noticed the window was open! When I had been trying to get my air conditioning to work earlier (to no avail) I had closed all windows in the house so at first my heart skipped a beat but then I instantly knew my innocent comment at the door was spot on and my mom had been there earlier. As I rounded the corner in the kitchen to tell my mom I was on to her, I surprised her as she was putting candles on my cake. It was almost a true surprise but it was lovely (and delicious) nevertheless.

My family can be exasperating but they know how to make a birthday girl feel special. I felt the love, ate and was merry.

I took the next day off from work, since it was a Friday. After my 8am appointment for my 30 Day inspection, I was treated to brunch by Allison and her husband. Yum! I had a great time with them as usual…I love their rapport; it’s always great to get to observe a couple that I believe has a good relationship.

The evening was my birthday party with friends. A year or so ago, I had visions of having a huge bash, the sort that I’d have to rent out a hall for, but by the time my birthday approached I didn’t feel like having a birthday party full of people that I wasn’t so close to; I wanted a smaller event with friends that I care about and want to continue to be friends with as we get older. That actually came up during brunch, the idea of wanting to focus on the quality of friendships rather than quantity. It actually felt good to not invite people I wasn’t that close to.

Although after that evening, I may have to go looking for new friends because I kept them waiting for 45 minutes before I finally showed up! Somehow time ran away from me. The plan was to have dinner at a restaurant and then come home for dessert. After brunch, I had a hair appointment with a new hairdresser. Unlike most African salons I’ve been to, this woman works by appointment only, so when we set my appointment for 1:30pm, I wanted to make a good impression and arrived five minutes early. She didn’t get started on my hair until 2:20pm. I was furious but I kept it in. I found it rude that she didn’t apologize for keeping me waiting either…some people simply have no idea how much a sincere apology does to soothe ruffled feathers.

Anyway, that set me behind a bit, though my hair looked great, probably the best it’s ever looked (but I was too busy running around like a chicken with its head cut off to capture it). I was officially running late and the things I still needed to do (create a music mix, cut up the fruit, clean the living room/dining room, mix up icing and ice the cupcakes, clean the powder room) were clearly not going to get done in time so I focused on the last three and by the time I finished them I was officially late, and still had to pick up my sister and before heading to the restaurant.

I actually thought I’d be lucky and only my most punctual friends would be there by the time I showed up but when you’re 45 minutes late, even the not-so-punctual people manage to make it there. I felt awful and on the drive over I was freaking out, especially when we got a call saying that everyone was there. Anyway, we arrived, I apologized but was teased mercilessly about it, to the point where I thought I’d have to excuse myself because I was about to cry (thankfully it was my birthday so I would have been allowed to cry if I wanted to). I held it together though and dinner was fine (actually it was really delicious).

Things chez moi went off without a hitch. The desserts were enjoyed, I had volunteers to help me with the fruit and music-wise we ended up downloading finding what we needed as we went along. It was awesome too to play Nigerian music and get most people dancing. I was spoiled quite disgustingly too by everyone. One of the gifts (purpler in person):

(Courtesy of Rich, Ves and Eli)

I had a great time and I guess you know you’re old when a party that ends around midnight seems late enough.