• My Christmas tree goes up on the last weekend of November.
• I host a Christmas fête the following weekend, for friends, on the first Saturday of December (it might be a bit premature to put this down here since I’ve only hosted one such event).
• I go to the Christmas Eve service at my church with my family, followed by early Boxing Day shopping that evening.
• I sleep over at my parents’ place on Christmas Eve (it didn’t happen this year but I slept over on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and a couple more days).
• I host my family at my house on New Year’s Day.

This last point also happened for the first time this year. I decided to make a turkey dinner (my first, actually!) I’m embarrassed to admit it but it was also my first time making mashed potatoes (I’m a sheltered flower, yes I am!). Dinner was simple: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and asparagus.

After waking up at the decadent hour of 11am, I decided to take my turkey out of the fridge, where it had been defrosting for less than 24 hours. It was still frozen. I had to transfer it to a bath in my sink. I had cut up the bread for the stuffing the night before, but it was still pretty fresh and soft, so I had to toast several batches of it in the oven while trying to quick-thaw my turkey.

Let’s talk about stuffing for a moment: I love it, oh so much. I always eat more stuffing than any other thing, and when I’m responsible for setting the table at my parents’ place, I always make sure the stuffing is set in front of me. As much as I love my mom’s stuffing, I was really excited to try out a stuffing recipe from the Food Network booklet my friend and former colleague Gen gave me. The last time I recall seeing the booklet was before my Christmas fête. I calmly checked all the places I thought it should be, then became more frustrated as New Year’s Eve day wore on. I eventually had to give up but I’m still pouting that I couldn’t find it when I needed it. I hope it didn’t end up in my recycling box by accident! My default stuffing recipe came from a cookbook I got from Ves and Rich as a housewarming gift, combined with the vegetables and herbs I recalled my mom including in her stuffing. I did have to call my family and ask them to bring some sage or poultry stuffing because I hadn’t done a complete inventory of my kitchen contents before cooking.

My parents and sister came by after church that afternoon (Brother #1 could not have been convinced to attend and Brother #2 had gone out of town for New Year’s Eve) and my mom proceeded to bustle around my kitchen, helping to get that turkey in the oven as soon as possible (she can’t resist a kitchen) while my dad and sister made themselves comfortable. We had a really relaxing afternoon: my three guests watched a football game and enjoyed some wine and snacks while I surfed the web and ate sugar cookies. Dinner was served at 9pm (thanks to getting the turkey in quite late!). Doesn’t it look good?

I wasn’t kidding about my mom loving the kitchen!

And the best part was that my parents and sister slept over! I was happy to have them over and they planned to sleep over as a surprise to me. And because they knew they were staying over, they could indulge to their heart’s content, stay up late and not rush. Dessert was cheesecake (oh yes, I have to tell you about my cheesecake debacle) with tea and coffee.

My dad usually likes to get a quick start on the day but the next morning even he lounged around chez moi until noonish, or maybe a bit before. My parents left and my sister stayed. The two of us watched a movie (accompanied by tea and more sugar cookies for me!).

It was a really good New Year’s Day and I hope it’ll be a tradition we repeat next year. I learned a lot about cooking turkey dinner too so maybe I’ll have most things done by the time they arrive next year! And hopefully, my brothers will attend next year.

My main gift was a vacuum from my parents and I’m so excited about it because I wasn’t expecting it at all! I’ve wanted a good vacuum since I moved into my own place, and my trusty Consumer Reports guide ranked the Dy.son brand highest in the category I was interested in. However, one of the H.oover vacuums also ranked high (but at a much more palatable cost), and given that I don’t have any pets, I had settled on a H.oover. My mom works in a department store so she called me earlier in December to inquire about the exact name of the vacuum because her colleague who works in the vacuum section said there would be deals in January and would keep an eye out for a deal on my particular vacuum. It was the plan all along for my mom to buy the vacuum for me using her store discount and money I would give her so I thought nothing of her inquiry. I innocently gave my mom the information and when Brother #1 brought up the gift it didn’t even occur to me that it could be for me or be a vacuum. I am quite thrilled!

(In case you’re curious, the word ‘vacuum’ appeared eight times in the above paragraph. You’re welcome. Also, I’m the easiest person to surprise because I have a terrible memory. never expect someone to think of surprising me. rarely wonder why someone’s asking me things; I just give up all the info they’re seeking—and more—most times!).

Brother #1 was home for Christmas after all and as he requested my siblings and I did not buy him gifts, though we did buy stocking stuffers for him. He also had stocking stuffers for us. Things are still not great between us but I was happy that he was around and I tried to bite my tongue as much as possible when he said things that incensed me or when he blatantly tried to draw attention to himself. I succeeded a bit more than half of the time.

No Christmas blog entry would be complete without a Boxing Day recap (every time I’ve talked about Boxing Day I’ve called it Black Friday, incidentally, except in this entry). I love deals to the point of inconveniencing myself for the bragging rights associated with getting a good deal. It probably is a sickness but I’d like to live with it forever and ever if that’s ok.

After the Christmas Eve service, I hurried to my parents’ house to start my Boxing Day shopping. In case you’re unaware, the two big electronic shops in Canada—B.est Buy and Fu.ture Shop—start Boxing Day sales online on Christmas Eve. Brother #2 and I logged in to our accounts for each of the stores just before 8:00pm and waited for the countdown. Once the time hit and after a few glitches to figure out how the interactive online flyers worked, I had two laptops, a digital camera, a GPS (don’t forget my Twelve by 2012 list!), and an antivirus program divided in a shopping cart for each store, and then I entered the lengthy checkout process. I had learned from Brother #1 two years ago that sometimes after waiting an hour to check out your item, you discover that other people beat you to the item and it’s sold out by the time your checkout process is completed. I therefore decided to “buy” two laptops—one from each retailer—and see which one actually makes it. Just like last year with the netbooks, both went through for me so I’ll return one (after checking the specs to see which is the best bang for my buck, naturally). I couldn’t find the particular GPS recommended by Consumer Reports, so I got one that looked good; I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m afraid to buy another camera, given my history, but I just don’t carry my DSLR around as much as I would if it could fit into my purse.

After opening gifts on Christmas evening, I started to get jittery and antsy. I needed to be in line somewhere, waiting for the doors to open and the mad dash for Boxing Day deals to begin. So, just after midnight, I called the 24 hours Sho.ppers Dr.ug Ma.rt to see if they were open for Boxing Day already. They didn’t answer the phone until nearly 1am and once I discovered they were opened I dusted off my car, drove over there, bought some things, stopped at my house, made two Christmas cards, then drove back to my parents’ house and was in bed before 3am, with lofty goals of waking up at 6:30am to be among the first to get to Walm.art to take advantage of its sales, starting at 7am. Well I slept through the alarm and woke up an hour later than planned. I brushed my teeth and headed to the store and picked up a few things. I proceeded to shop for the next six hours—I still cannot believe I was out for six hours! From Walm.art I went to Chap.ters, then Mich.aels, then I.KEA, then Sho.ppers Dru.g Mar.t (a different location), then Walm.art (again), then a mall (this drained me: so. many. people!), then Pharm.aPlus, then Sho.ppers Dru.g Mar.t (my third location), then another mall (not as crowded but still draining). Then I crashed at my parents’ house.

I don’t know what it is about Boxing Day and Black Friday that gets my adrenaline pumping. I remember driving into the busy mall and entering a traffic jam just to get into the parking lot and being excited, squealing to my sister (over the phone) that I “love this!” (don’t worry, I have a hands-free phone system in the car).

For the rest of the week I revisited most of the stores I had gone to on Boxing Day and picked up a few extra things. I’m most excited about the Christmas craft supplies that snagged; now I just have to remember to start Christmas crafting in October.

**The story of the pictures of my sister and Brother #2, and my mom and I makes me laugh. My sister was sitting on the stairs and the four of us were talking. All of a sudden, Brother #2 hops on my sister’s lap and the way he hopped on just cracked the rest of us up. What else could I do but snap a picture of it and decide to recreate the same thing with my mom. Luckily my mom is very playful and good-natured so we got our picture too.

I had my first counselling session yesterday. The counsellor was exactly what I expected from our phone call last week: an older woman (early 50s I’d say), kind of straightforward, and a little bit “eccentric cat lady”. I did not predict her extensive giraffe collection or the plants that have clearly taken over her home but that’s ok (because I love plants and I happened to notice she has some succulents I may request clippings of…if that doesn’t cross the counsellor-client barrier). I don’t have strong feelings about her in one way or another so I’ll see her again before I decide if I want to continue with her.

What I took away from the session is to give Brother #1 space but always send him love (which I can do without actually interacting with him). I have to also let my parents speak for themselves when Brother #1 is being disrespectful, instead of jumping in and trying to protect my parents. I also have to stop trying to save him from what might be the path he has to go through before coming around: I’m so afraid that if he turns away from us he’ll hit rock bottom and be too proud to reach out for help but maybe that’s what has to happen for him to see that we truly love him and only want the best for him. The counsellor was for me, not him, so I have to focus on what I have to do.

Christmas is here and surprise surprise I’m not ready. I’m really trying not to stress about it because first of all, I hate all the hoopla about gifts. I find gift-giving is more stress than it’s worth most of the time, and the worst part is that I get stressed about other people’s gift-giving! For example, I ran into my mom at the store this week: I had no idea she was at that mall or in that particular store. She was there buying a gift for her friend whose birthday is on Christmas Eve. My mom had picked a calendar and a book and was ready to pay for them. I proceeded to scrutinize her choices and wonder aloud if her friend would like these offerings. My mom was not at all bothered: she said that she picked what she wanted for her friend and if her friend didn’t like them she could exchange the gifts for something else. I love my mom’s approach to gift-giving: once she’s decided what she wants to get for someone and buys it, she doesn’t spend an extra second agonizing over whether or not the person will like the gift (though she does sometimes stress over Christmas gifts for immediate family members though!).

I’m not as secure as she is, sadly, and that’s why I’ve tried to eliminate gift-giving and receiving opportunities from my life as much as possible. Anyone who gives me a gift this year will receive an expression of appreciation and likely nothing more. I’ve always hated that “you-gave-me-a-gift-so-I-feel-obliged-to-give-you-a-gift” feeling that is so prevalent in today’s society. I figure if someone gives me a gift and they’re irate that all they received from me was a thank you, then a) their heart wasn’t in the right place when giving the gift in the first place and b) they won’t give me a gift next year, so gift-related awkwardness is gone.

And isn’t it just like me to showcase two sweet ornaments that I received from my friend Gen at my Christmas fête in an entry about my Scrooge-like approach to gift-giving? My point is once shopping for a gift progresses to a stressful affair due to not being able to figure out what to buy, then it’s not cool.

But enough about that! I hosted my Christmas fête this past weekend and I think it was a good time. My sister showed up for me in a big way that day and I’m forever grateful. She helped me move furniture around, cleaned, cooked, picked up missing food items, and decorated cookies. She kept me on track time-wise. She basically saved the day and prevented a full-on panic attack.

Number of adult guests: 19
Number of guests under the age of 5: 4
Ratio of food to guests: way too much
Food highlights: bacon-wrapped waterchestnuts, seven-layer dip (served with tortilla chips), a cheese platter (more on that later) served with pita triangles and baguette slices, a veggie tray with dip, my mom’s akara (a Nigerian delicacy made from black-eyed beans), meat pies, cheesecake, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookie squares. I supplemented these made-from-scratch items with a “heat and serve” appetizer assortment and mint M&Ms.

Because I was so rushed, I didn’t have time to take pictures of any of the food that was served…it was quite a spread when all was said and done. I have hosted three “big” parties in my home in the past two years and almost eight months I have lived here: a house warming, my 30th (dessert only) and this party. At one of the earlier parties I decided I had to have a candy buffet or the event would not be complete, and I spent more time than necessary finding a nice mix of glass dishes to put various candy in, and I bought a Lazy Susan to put the varieties of candy on. This time my obsession was on creating a cheese platter, which incidentally was also displayed on my Lazy Susan. My colleague Wendy is a cheese-aholic so I think it was the yummy cheese that I had at her house a month ago that put cheese on my brain. I spent far too much time researching how to create a cheese platter and I went on two cheese scavenging trips with my friend Eli’s wife before I was satisfied with my selection. I spent far too much time agonizing over how the cheese platter would be received, but just like the candy buffet I’m glad I did it. I wish I had a picture of the cheese platter though!

The party was a learning experience like everything I do, so here’s what I’d do differently next year:

• do as much of the baking ahead of time as possible (even if I don’t want to bake things several weeks before the event, just having the dough made would save time)
• do a deep cleaning (dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing) of the house a few days before rather than the night before
• prep as many of the dishes I want to serve ahead of time, rather than while my guests are hovered around me
• have little flags identifying the varieties of cheeses—I really wanted to do this but just ran out of time

Though it wasn’t a perfect event, people seemed to enjoy themselves so I want it to be an annual event: I’ve already put a reminder in my phone that on November 3, 2012, I’ll send out an invitation for the second annual Christmas fête, to be held on December 1. I like the idea of developing traditions: Christmas tree up the last weekend in November and now a Christmas fête the following weekend (first weekend of December). Fantastic!

Here’s what I’ve done so far to get ready for the season…and the party. They’re not big things but they have helped me feel like I’m on track:

• I’ve brought out all my Christmas gear and two red plastic storage tubs are taking up prime real estate in my living room.
• I’ve set up my festive tea light holder.
  
• I’ve made a yarn-wrapped wreath and I’m addicted to making them now (it only took one!). Maybe I should have a giveaway for one of the others I’m planning to make…that would be very fitting with the Christmas spirit wouldn’t it?
  

• I have put a bunch of Christmas-themed cds on hold at the library. I’ve received four or five so far and transferred the music to my computer.
• I went through all my magazines that have Christmassy recipes and bookmarked the ones I want to make.
• I bought Christmas stamps.
  
• I have my wreath hanging on my front door
  

  (and “hanging” is right: it’s currently on display in such a way that every time I open or close the door the wreath sort of swings and bounces around…so annoying! If that sign with the number of my house wasn’t there the ribbon would lie flat against the door.

I decided last year that I want my tree set up during the last weekend of November. This year, I may set it up a little earlier so I don’t have to have it on my pre-party to do list.

How do you get ready for Christmas?

For the past two years and on several occasions before, I stopped making an effort to recognize my birthday in any significant way. I’m always grateful to be alive to celebrate it but I’ve been treating it like any other day. It’s gotten to the point where it’s my friends and family who ask me what I’m doing before I come up with plans, usually involving going out for dinner. Well no more: moving forward I intend to celebrate my birthday intentionally, whether I invite a few friends over to my place (hah! I’m still not very hospitable because my house is always a mess) or consciously organize a little party outside of the house.

The day before my birthday, I went to lunch with two of my colleagues and we had our ritual *passing of the luck*. This started almost two years ago when one of my colleagues on her birthday passed me the luck and the last year was a very special one for me (especially when it comes to matters of the heart!). It was my turn to pass on the luck to our third colleague so that she can have her magical lucky year.

I went for dinner in the evening with my Fab 5 friends: Ves and Rich (and their son) and Eli and Jen, and we went to M.ilestones because I was craving a cool atmosphere but more than that, seafood fettucine and bellinis! Our group started a tradition of paying for the dinner of the celebrant after I insisted we stop buying each other gifts, but I didn’t have that in mind when I ordered two alcoholic drinks and an appetizer! I felt like the biggest mooch when it was time for the bills and my bill was probably half of the bill of the people picking up my tab! Urgh! I have plans to rectify that though, since my request to pay my bill was denied. We followed up dinner with my favourite ice cream treat (a blizzard!) and my go-to St.arbucks drink (peppermint white chocolate mocha, no whip, light on the foam). Despite the no-gifts policy I received lots of skittles…eep! I’ll try not to scarf them all down at once.

My birthday evening will be spent with my family and I’m still trying to decide where I’d like to go for dinner.

Two days before Valentine’s Day, I decided to buy cards for my parents and my sister. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. The day before V Day, my sister came over and we baked cookies (which I took to work):

Brother #1 called my sister, while she was still at my house, to inquire about my favourite popcorn flavour (white cheddar, yum!) and he bought a huge bag of it for me. My sister also received her favourite flavour, and my parents received a bottle of wine from him. My sister gave me a valentine and my favourite gummies (sour strawberry that don’t taste sour at all) and some heart-shaped chocolates.

On the actual day, my mom made a special dinner for the family, smothered us with her usual hugs and kisses and bought cheesecake for dessert. I felt the love.

We don’t have a family tradition for Valentine’s Day, which was why it was so surprising that half of the family planned ways to make the day special.

(I didn’t end up writing up my cards and giving them out…I’ll save the cards for next year but I’ll find ways to show my love year-round.)

All my talk of love generally (well, my lack of it more than anything) over the years made me think that when I fall in love, I’d be the lover, not the lovee. Of course a good relationship needs both people in it to love, but I just thought that I’d be the one who loved more, whatever that means. This concept of loving more is one I’m still thinking about: how does one gauge who loves more? I’m in the habit of saying that only God knows in the end. If someone makes grand loving gestures daily, but if that’s what they do to/for everyone everywhere, that doesn’t mean they love more. If I’m emotionally a harder nut to crack and I go from “Don’t touch me” to voluntarily giving hugs, that’s a big sign of love…basically you have to judge how love I am by looking at how I show love. Yes, I’m rambling.

I’m a couple of days late but I just wanted to record how lovely February 13-14, 2011 were.

I have a great little DSLR that I agonized over buying. I use it but not as often as I had hoped to. I bought extra lenses apart from the kit lens and I bought a good book to help me learn how to use it but it’s nearly three years later and I have not progressed in my shooting skills. I also bought a three-year extended warranty that I expires in a few months (I think), which has proven to be a big waste of money (as usual right?). I’m certain that my camera will quit working the day after my extended warranty runs out because that’s how they get you.

But enough about the camera, I’d like you to admire my tv stand. Less than a week ago the two things on the top shelf were beside the television because Ikea didn’t have pre-cut holes in the back of the stand for me to stick the cords of my dvd player and cable box in.

I forgot that the backing was particle board and not cardboard, so I tried to use an exacto knife on it and got exactly nowhere. My friend Rich loaned me his drill thingy and boy did I feel powerful and skilled when I used it to drill two perfect circles. The difference that having those two things neatly stowed away makes is indescribable. I was telling a coworker this and she commented that many of life’s woes are like that: things that get under your skin for ages until you take a minute to fix them. It’s always the small things that have the power to annoy.

I still have my decorations from Christmas and New Year’s Eve up! They’ll come down this weekend, I promise!

My friend Wendy commented on my last entry and reminded me that I have a goal to be in the Oprah show audience this year. It’s a new goal, one I’m excited about, and Wendy and I are conspirators on this goal. She’s been so positive about it, planning what she’s going to wear and asking if I’ve gotten my call yet. I love that positivity! I’ve never been one to do more than hope for something but there is power in saying out loud “I am going to be in the Oprah show audience and I will wear that shirt in my facebook profile with some nice-fitting pants”. I should try this with my other goals too, like my ever-present weight loss goal: “I will slim down to a size x and enjoy buying a whole new wardrobe.”

Anyway, I wrote about being inspired by Oprah here, and someone left a comment asking me how I could like her given what she said about Nigerians. First off, I was annoyed by the comment because why not just tell me what she said (since I was unaware)? A search on google led me to a forum where Oprah was quoted as saying that all Nigerians are corrupt. I’m really curious to find that 2007 (I think) show and get some context before I make any decisions. Maybe I’ll get a chance to meet her and ask her in person!

But this year I happened to see some boots in a flyer, and they were offered in my size, though I was unsure if the width would suffice. I went to the store, tried them on and—because I suspect those particular boots are made for people who will be wearing several layers of socks inside them—they fit! And they were on sale. And my feet will be warm until the weather dips below 40 degrees below zero as it inevitably will. Annnnd…I’m very happy!

My Christmas tree has been up since November 27! This is a coup for me; certainly the earliest that I’ve had my tree up (though this is only my second year of putting up my very own Christmas tree). One of the recipients of my handmade Christmas cards informed me late last week that she received the card. This means our postal service exaggerated its due dates to ensure that even if you are a week late sending cards out, the recipients will get them on time. This makes my heart happy.

My latest Christmas cards:

I really like them but I have to confess that I made them after flipping through a couple of scrapbook/paper craft magazines at the store. It feels a bit like cheating but I need to be inspired before I can craft.

I struggle with my quest for perfection: I had promised Christmas cards to the first 15 commenters on my other blog (how cruel of me not to offer the same to you wonderful readers right? I figured that knowing my proclivity for procrastination, you’d snicker and say “yeah right!” to my ambitious plan to hand-make cards. According to our postal service my cards to Europe locations should have been sent last Monday. I sent them a week late, after staying up until 4:30am to finish them up. How many cards did I spend far too many hours perfecting? Four. (Ok, I made seven, but two were just horrid.) I’m not really happy with them but past experience has taught me that the creations I turn my nose up at because I’m fixated on the imperfections within them are often appreciated. So I threw away the two truly ugly cards and sent four off to their new homes in the UK. They were all different, involving experiments with doilies, embellishments and sewing on paper. This one is my favourite; I made a similar one back in 2007:

I put the following status up on facebook this evening:

Jummy…would like to launch a campaign against all types of cowardly behaviour, from keeping your mouth shut due to fear of confrontation to avoiding facing a problem hoping it’ll go away. Life is way too short to be like that! Let’s all practice facing problems head on…who’s with me?

I have been irritated beyond belief more than once this year by people (mostly men!) who allow fear of confrontation and the potential of hearing loud voices keep them from engaging in discussions that need to happen or needed to have happened for a while. When you deal with people who are non-confrontational for a while, you kind of adapt to this kind of way of life and it can cause you to be cautious or reserved around said people. I was starting to feel like that and I was prompted to open up and let a friend know what was on my mind and the resulting dialogue (via email due to the distance) was good and reminded me why facing things head on is so much better than beating around the bush. Most people who know me well know that my usual style is to start a dialogue so I’m happy to say I’m back to that. It doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous at the thought of broaching a sensitive topic or telling a friend something I know they won’t want to hear, but this passive aggressive business weighs me far more than just getting things out in the open.

I made cookie dough for three different types of sugar cookies over the weekend. I’m going to bed now so that I’ll have the strength to get my bake on this week.