My main gift was a vacuum from my parents and I’m so excited about it because I wasn’t expecting it at all! I’ve wanted a good vacuum since I moved into my own place, and my trusty Consumer Reports guide ranked the Dy.son brand highest in the category I was interested in. However, one of the H.oover vacuums also ranked high (but at a much more palatable cost), and given that I don’t have any pets, I had settled on a H.oover. My mom works in a department store so she called me earlier in December to inquire about the exact name of the vacuum because her colleague who works in the vacuum section said there would be deals in January and would keep an eye out for a deal on my particular vacuum. It was the plan all along for my mom to buy the vacuum for me using her store discount and money I would give her so I thought nothing of her inquiry. I innocently gave my mom the information and when Brother #1 brought up the gift it didn’t even occur to me that it could be for me or be a vacuum. I am quite thrilled!

(In case you’re curious, the word ‘vacuum’ appeared eight times in the above paragraph. You’re welcome. Also, I’m the easiest person to surprise because I have a terrible memory. never expect someone to think of surprising me. rarely wonder why someone’s asking me things; I just give up all the info they’re seeking—and more—most times!).

Brother #1 was home for Christmas after all and as he requested my siblings and I did not buy him gifts, though we did buy stocking stuffers for him. He also had stocking stuffers for us. Things are still not great between us but I was happy that he was around and I tried to bite my tongue as much as possible when he said things that incensed me or when he blatantly tried to draw attention to himself. I succeeded a bit more than half of the time.

No Christmas blog entry would be complete without a Boxing Day recap (every time I’ve talked about Boxing Day I’ve called it Black Friday, incidentally, except in this entry). I love deals to the point of inconveniencing myself for the bragging rights associated with getting a good deal. It probably is a sickness but I’d like to live with it forever and ever if that’s ok.

After the Christmas Eve service, I hurried to my parents’ house to start my Boxing Day shopping. In case you’re unaware, the two big electronic shops in Canada—B.est Buy and Fu.ture Shop—start Boxing Day sales online on Christmas Eve. Brother #2 and I logged in to our accounts for each of the stores just before 8:00pm and waited for the countdown. Once the time hit and after a few glitches to figure out how the interactive online flyers worked, I had two laptops, a digital camera, a GPS (don’t forget my Twelve by 2012 list!), and an antivirus program divided in a shopping cart for each store, and then I entered the lengthy checkout process. I had learned from Brother #1 two years ago that sometimes after waiting an hour to check out your item, you discover that other people beat you to the item and it’s sold out by the time your checkout process is completed. I therefore decided to “buy” two laptops—one from each retailer—and see which one actually makes it. Just like last year with the netbooks, both went through for me so I’ll return one (after checking the specs to see which is the best bang for my buck, naturally). I couldn’t find the particular GPS recommended by Consumer Reports, so I got one that looked good; I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m afraid to buy another camera, given my history, but I just don’t carry my DSLR around as much as I would if it could fit into my purse.

After opening gifts on Christmas evening, I started to get jittery and antsy. I needed to be in line somewhere, waiting for the doors to open and the mad dash for Boxing Day deals to begin. So, just after midnight, I called the 24 hours Sho.ppers Dr.ug Ma.rt to see if they were open for Boxing Day already. They didn’t answer the phone until nearly 1am and once I discovered they were opened I dusted off my car, drove over there, bought some things, stopped at my house, made two Christmas cards, then drove back to my parents’ house and was in bed before 3am, with lofty goals of waking up at 6:30am to be among the first to get to Walm.art to take advantage of its sales, starting at 7am. Well I slept through the alarm and woke up an hour later than planned. I brushed my teeth and headed to the store and picked up a few things. I proceeded to shop for the next six hours—I still cannot believe I was out for six hours! From Walm.art I went to Chap.ters, then Mich.aels, then I.KEA, then Sho.ppers Dru.g Mar.t (a different location), then Walm.art (again), then a mall (this drained me: so. many. people!), then Pharm.aPlus, then Sho.ppers Dru.g Mar.t (my third location), then another mall (not as crowded but still draining). Then I crashed at my parents’ house.

I don’t know what it is about Boxing Day and Black Friday that gets my adrenaline pumping. I remember driving into the busy mall and entering a traffic jam just to get into the parking lot and being excited, squealing to my sister (over the phone) that I “love this!” (don’t worry, I have a hands-free phone system in the car).

For the rest of the week I revisited most of the stores I had gone to on Boxing Day and picked up a few extra things. I’m most excited about the Christmas craft supplies that snagged; now I just have to remember to start Christmas crafting in October.

**The story of the pictures of my sister and Brother #2, and my mom and I makes me laugh. My sister was sitting on the stairs and the four of us were talking. All of a sudden, Brother #2 hops on my sister’s lap and the way he hopped on just cracked the rest of us up. What else could I do but snap a picture of it and decide to recreate the same thing with my mom. Luckily my mom is very playful and good-natured so we got our picture too.

I was a bit uncomfortable at the thought, so I bought myself a magazine as my date. Just like my first foray into a gym back in university, I thought people would be looking at me, possibly with pity, but of course everyone was engrossed in their own dinners and dinner partners.

It turns out that eating alone in public can be just as relaxing as it is at home. The rest of the restaurant quickly disappeared, especially once I got over myself and realized that no one cares about the 30-something girl eating alone. I got lost in my magazine, stopping only to answer the occasional text message as I ate.

In the end I felt empowered and even a touch smug, because I know most people haven’t done this before, and probably never will. I know Rhona would in a heartbeat though! Today: dinner alone. Tomorrow? Maybe I’ll tackle painting my house or booking a solo trip further away from home than Montreal. The sky’s the limit!

I was supposed to be off work from Monday to Friday, but instead I took Tuesday to Friday off, then I took yesterday, Monday, off as well. On Tuesday I went for lunch with a friend, then visited another friend who had a sweet little boy 10 days earlier. I’ll share a picture of him up once I get permission to do so. After some baby time I went to my parents’ place to hang out for a bit. My mom convinced me to sleep over so I went home to get what I would need for my upcoming trip and I slept at their house overnight.

By noon on Wednesday, I was off to visit my father in Hammy (my nickname for his new hometown). It was quite an ordeal to get out of the house. As I mentioned in my last entry I wanted to do a blood test before leaving on my trip but I needed to fast for 12 hours. I had eaten dinner quite late in the evening so I had to wait until 10:30am before going to the blood test lab. Also, I had some library books to return and some things I wanted to bring to Hammy at my house so I had to make a trip back home and get those things.

The road trip was uneventful and all I can say is thank God for GPS! I didn’t get lost and I don’t recall any driving mishaps, well maybe one or two moments that made me realize that I have to concentrate 100% on the road. I took a 30 minute break a little more than halfway through and arrived in Toronto around 4:40pm where I met Cynthia and her husband for a whirlwind tour of TO, a quick meal and dessert (their treat) before I was off.

I could have done without the traffic getting out of TO. I still have no idea why it took me 30 minutes to travel 7km around 9:00pm on a Wednesday night, and I have no idea if it’s always like that. Once I left TO behind the drive was pretty smooth. The best part was surprising my dad. I called my mom once I arrived at his apartment building. She excitedly told me that she hadn’t told him that I was on my way (as planned) and that he was about to go to bed.

I called my dad and asked how he was doing. He said he was fine and he asked me the same. Then (and I can’t remember exactly what I said because I was so excited by the surprise), I asked if he could come to his bedroom window and he wanted to know why then I banged on his bedroom window. He asked what was going on; he was clearly confused. I of course was squealing at this point. Once he looked and saw me he came around to his balcony door and I was standing there jumping up and down and squealing. The thought makes me laugh! I started passing my bags to him and he was speechless through this. I went to park the car in the parking lot and came in and he was still short of words. My mom called shortly after and between her and my sister’s squeals and mine, it’s hard to say if much conversing went on. By the time he finished talking to my mom the shock was starting to wear off.

The three nights that I spent there went by too quickly. I spent much of Thursday cleaning his apartment from top to bottom and figuring out what supplies and food items he was running low on. I had brought some things with me so I got those out of the car while he was at work. He came home for lunch and I had warmed up part of his leftovers for him. That evening he had prior plans for dinner so I dropped him off there and went shopping. I explored the city a bit too. My dad had decided to take a half-day at work on Friday so he asked me to pick a place we could explore together.

On Friday I went to visit him at work and see the state-of-the-art laboratory where he now works. I met some of his colleagues too and snapped a picture of him at his desk. We came home for lunch (my mom had baked a delicious lasagna that she sent down with me) and while warming up the lasagna I got this burn:

After lunch we headed to my chosen tourist spot: Dundurn Castle:

My dad looks so cute here!

My dad and I were the only ones on the tour so it ended up being a private tour. The tour guide, Adam, let us go behind the dividers meant to separate the guide from the tourists on several occasions. We both really enjoyed it.

By Friday evening we knew my visit was coming to an end. We went out for dinner and talked a bit. When we came home I baked some blueberry muffins and then we worked on building his website. After that I had my dessert (which I had taken home from the restaurant because I was full earlier) and tea and we talked some more. He was so cute and he told me he was already starting to miss me.

On Saturday morning, I curled up on his couch and got teary at the thought of leaving him as I knew I would. Now that my parents are getting older I feel more protective of them and knowing that my dad is going through a rough time at work and in Hammy in general made me feel bad for having to leave him there. One reason I love my dad is he’s not afraid to shed a tear or two if he’s emotional. His love for his family is one thing that always gets him emotional, and I am so thankful that God gave me a family that is demonstrative when showing love.

He helped me pack the car, we said a prayer for safe journeys for me and there were more tears. We hugged, he gave me some gas money and I was off. I called him along to way to let him know I was ok (he’s a worrier) and when I arrived home safe and sound I called him again.

I wish my time in Hammy could have been extended but not this time around. I hope I lifted his spirits for a while until we see him again, and I’m already thinking about the next surprise visit I can spring on him. He’s such a great dad and I would do anything to prevent him from feeling the way he currently feels.

Anyway, I’m glad that everything went well!

Contemplating my health has a habit of making me somber. Like I’ve probably said before I need to make healthier moves more often so that when I get scares like this I can have a sense that no matter what the tests reveal, I’m doing the best I can to maintain my health. I get worried because I know I should be doing more.

I recently told a friend that the new thing I’ll tell myself to stop eating candy is “Candy is for kids, not adults. I’ve eaten more candy than most people ever eat in their lifetime.” I’m sure that I have eaten more candy than anyone I’ve ever met. That’s a bit horrifying, isn’t it? I’m hoping that repeating that to myself will make me more aware so that I’ll make better choices. The goal is to quit eating candy. It won’t be easy…I’m craving it right now…but quitting candy is the easiest way for me to jump-start weight loss.

***

I’m going on an adventure tomorrow, right after I give up some blood to be tested. I’m headed to the city of Hammy, to pay a visit to my Dad. Before you comment on what a good daughter I am, I’m going more for the trip and to appease my desire to get away. I love my Dad and I look forward to spending evenings with him as he will be at work during the day, but I’m also looking forward to taking the longest road trip I’ve ever taken, and a solo one at that. I’m looking forward to sleeping in and reading up on web design and also getting through the magazines I’ve packed. The visit is a semi-surprise…I suspect my Dad will be a bit horrified to hear that I traveled all by myself (he’s risk-averse). Think of me cruising in my vehicle safely please!

In 2007, my father learned that the department that he has worked for for 20ish years was moving to a new city. All the employees were offered a chance to visit the new city over a weekend and I remember my dad’s emphatic declaration that he didn’t like the city and he couldn’t see himself there when he and my mom returned from the weekend away. By deciding not to move, my dad was deciding to switch careers because he works for the government and his department was the the only one doing that kind of work in our city. My dad eventually came to terms with changing careers and was looking forward to it by the middle of last year. The deal for those who decided not to move was that their employer would help them find another job. My dad decided to improve his chances of finding new employment by applying for an opportunity to receive French language training, which he began in October 2010. Our city is the nation’s capital and being bilingual gives you a definite advantage.

In December last year, my dad received notice that all attempts to find him a job in the city were unsuccessful. By sheer coincidence, his job was still available, in the city six hours away if he wanted it. If he didn’t want the job, he could ask his employer to continue the job hunt for him with the caveat that the job search would be opened up to all of Canada (and not just our city). If they found him a job across the country, he’d be expected to apply and if and he got it, his employer’s obligation would be over. If my dad decided not to take the job, he’d be on his own and no longer an employee of the federal government. When you consider that, going with the devil he knew and taking the job six hours away made sense. My dad doesn’t believe in leaving anything on the table, and given his age and where he is in his life (mortgage to pay off, dreams of retiring in about 10 years since he still has at least that many years left on his mortgage), and the fact that in our city the government is considered a decent employer, he decided it was worth staying with them.

He didn’t want my mom to move with him because he has decided to look at this move as a one year thing. He will continue to look for other government jobs in our city while he’s away and we’re praying that something will come up. If the job hunt doesn’t go as planned then he and my mother will think carefully about what they want to do (though my understanding is that they want to retire in this city, eventually).

Early in May, my parents spent a week in the new city, apartment hunting and buying a few things that could be kept in storage along with the things they brought with them. We ended up spending less than 24 hours in my dad’s new apartment, helping him clean the place (while exclaiming at how gross apartments are in general; snobs that we are), move some of the things he had in storage up to his apartment, and trying to make him comfortable. My dad regularly tells us that we, his family, are his only treasure, so we knew the move would be hard on him. It was easier on us because we’re all still in the same city; he’s the one who has to deal with a new place that is missing the people that make it a home. There were intermittent tears during the weekend; I love that my dad is in touch with his emotions.

Some good things are my dad’s office is only about 10 minutes’ walk from his apartment, which I know will be good for his health and well-being because he does not enjoy driving to work and although he’s quite used to taking the bus, a commute this short means he’ll save some money (important since he’s now paying rent and a mortgage!). He can get a little exercise and he can even go home for lunch! I’m hoping the time away will be good for his ever-present migraines, which were probably not helped by the constant fights among my siblings (and I, when I’m there), the mess of our house despite his best attempts to introduce order, and just his tendency to worry about us (though I’m not sure if he worries more or less, now that he’s apart from us).

So that’s the big news in our family. We’re adjusting and still working on the frequency of visits. He was here for my birthday and for Father’s Day this past weekend, which was great, and we already know he’ll be back for mid-July, and maybe even before, for Canada Day weekend. Given the situation, it’s the most ideal outcome and with some work on all our parts, we will make the best of it.

I went camping with my friends and sister (who happens to also be my friend) this past weekend and it was both relaxing but not without the usual tensions, the kind of tensions that arise from spending too much time in a short period of time with people you’re close to. We went to bed at the dismally early hour of 10:30pm on the first night; the following evening we didn’t make it to midnight before surrendering to sleep. We are officially old (though thanks to behind-the-scenes work on the NBA site I only got three hours’ sleep the night before we left for camping).

Camping was the usual: we lounged on the beach, logged many hours around the campfire and ate as much junk as our hearts desired. Every year we pack too much food, and this year was no exception. We refined our meals though: in previous years we planned high maintenance (but delicious) meals: chicken cooked over the fire, accompanied by steamed broccoli and cheese, pancakes, eggs and bacon for breakfast, all cooked from scratch, but this year we stuck to hotdogs for one dinner, cereal for breakfast and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. On the second night we indulged in really yummy pork chops over the fire with boiled corn. SO good!

While on the beach we witnessed a beachside wedding! That was kind of fun…the romantics in the group got as close tot he wedding as possible without intruding (it helped that some water separated us and them).

One thing my sister and I finally did this year that made camping SO much more comfortable was investing in air mattresses! I always sleep like a baby but this time I woke up like a baby too: happy and without body aches. Of course this means I can no longer claim to be roughing it whatsoever when I go camping (though when I think of all those creeping and crawling bugs that caused me to squeal several times, I think until bugs are eradicated from this earth, camping outdoors will forever count as “roughing it”!).

We have to be off the site by 2pm on the day we’re leaving, but I’ve learned that my pals like to leave as soon as possible, likely so they can prepare for their week ahead. I’d prefer to have a more leisurely Sunday spent lounging on the beach (the weather is always the best on the day we’re leaving…why is that?); one day I’ll see if I can convince them to do that.

One of our traditions is to take a picture of the group, on the site. Here is this year’s picture:

The Ontario park that we go to (Sandbanks) is really beautiful: soft as silk sand and not too many mosquitoes (which means less than 10 bites on my entire body). Our site this year was a smidge far from the comfort station (where the flushing toilets and hot showers are) so we’ve scoped out site 92 for next year. And as we always do, we will plan to bring less food and stay an extra day. One year we’ll get it all perfect.

Next year we might be a bigger group if all goes as planned so there might be some changes (we may need to spread out over two sites since there is a six person/three shelter limit per site). I’m looking forward to it already!

I managed to unpack my clothing into two garbage bags (clean, dirty), empty my suitcases (which I store at my parents’ place), upload my pictures and exchange anecdotes with my sister before heading to bed at just past 3am. And in that magical way that only happens in cases like this, I woke up on time for work and managed to get through the first day without falling asleep. My plan was to get through the first day of work, then cart all my things home instead I’ve been loafing at my parents’ place, scrambling to make work-appropriate outfits from the few cool weather clothes I have there. Perhaps nearly four weeks of sharing a bed with my mom or sister (or both, depending where we slept that particular day) has made the thought of living alone unpalatable.

I managed to make it home three or four days after arriving home. I had two dinner dates that had me dozing off around 9pm and I spent yesterday at my parents’ place and was snoring by 9pm which meant another unscheduled sleepover.

I will be sharing some tales of my trip on this blog and also here; I hope you’ll enjoy them.

One awesome benefit of traveling to Nigeria is the guaranteed weight loss. I lost nearly 15 pounds due to sweating, walking more and eating less junk, but those pounds never stay off because I’m not good at adopting the “eating less junk” philosophy here. It’s certainly a good jump start though!

Statistically speaking:
Number of shoes destroyed: 2
Number of times someone walked in on me in the bathroom: 2
Number of live cockroaches I saw: 4
Number of online friends I met: 5
Number of hours it took to braid my hair: 10.5 (but there’s a story there)

Speaking of my hair, here’s what it looks like right now (you can click for a better view):

My goals for this week are to finish selecting the pictures I want to post on facebook, and I’m thinking of making some photobooks too. And I’m really hoping that I’ve shaken the jetlag once and for all.

I guess I’ll just pray that I one day have the funds to move back and forth between the two countries when I feel like it, like some do between our corner of Canada and Florida.

Right now I really miss milk.

My to do list (click to make bigger) for last month was largely incomplete though I made some feeble efforts: I managed to pay my property taxes (although the money still hasn’t been removed from my account which makes me wonder why they haven’t processed my cheques), I tried to get a charity organization to pick up the television in my livingroom and the vacuum but they don’t pick up those items, and I went looking for curtain rods on three occasions. I bought this one for my bedroom and it just needs to be installed. However, I managed to injure my back, presumably while measuring the other windows in the house, so I’ve been dealing with back issues for about a week, though thankfully it’s getting a lot better. If a miracle occurs, I may be able to coordinate hanging the rods, but chances are I won’t. Thank God my home is not on the main level…you’d have to stand quite far across the street to be a proper Peeping Tom.

I want brushed metal (steel?) curtain rods for the other rooms of the house, and finding them seems near impossible — silvery-painted curtain rods are everywhere but that nice steel (or similar) look that I want is nowhere to be found. That’s not exactly true: Ike@ has these, but I’m not ready to pay sixty dollars for the length I need.

I have a few loose ends to tie up before I leave, things I didn’t have to think about last time because my dad stayed behind and looked after it all. Now that I’m a home owner, I have extra bills to ensure are paid, I need to find someone to collect my mail from the two locations, and I just learned that my home insurance requires someone come to the house to check on it in my absence every few days. I also have to make sure my fridge is emptied of perishables.

To calm my ever-present trip-related jitters (due mostly to my fear of flying), I’ve been making lists but I have at last count five different lists, some that overlap, and none of which are the “ultimate list of everything I need to address before I go”. I keep dreaming that I forgot my shoes and I had to go around in these particular flipflops that Nigerians call bathroom slippers.

My family has a disorder that renders us unable to pack lightly, and I’m trying to fight this genetic predisposition this time around. (unlike last time, where we were charged $70 USD per overweight luggage which we had three of). Since I’ll be away for a while, I have to find a good balance between “packing every summery article of clothing I own” and “not packing so lightly that I look like I’m wearing a uniform”.

I’m excited about the trip, though the intended highlight of the trip was supposed to be meeting a fellow that I’d been talking to by phone and online for about eight months. Unfortunately, things fizzled before the end of the summer and I can accept the role I played in the demise of our friendship. Over the past few weeks I’ve gone from not wanting to see him to recognizing the advantages of meeting up with him as a way of moving toward closure, even if I’m the only one who needs it.

All of that to say I’m going on a trip that I’m really looking forward to, and I’m going to have a marvelous time and come back just in time to get my toes frozen off by our city’s November weather.

As expected, I danced like a fool when the music changed to my kind of music.

* * *

I have always enjoyed observing couples, and weddings give me ample opportunity to do that. I like watching interactions between couples in all stages of their relationship, especially because weddings usually bring out the tender side of couples , either from remembering their own special day years ago or anticipating the future. When a slow song like Unchained Melody comes on and I don’t have anyone’s arms to melt into, it kind of sucks but I’m hopeful that that won’t always be my reality and I try not to think of all the things that a 31 year old woman who has been waiting f-o-r-e-v-e-r to fall in love, get married and have kids will think of at weddings.

All of that to say that I had a good time at the wedding. I regret not taking a full length photo of my outfit; hopefully the photographer (who was also quite handsome) did!