I haven’t been as consistent with my run/walks in the past two weeks, but I’m not beating myself up over it because as my crazy colleague keeps reminding me, and I truly believe it, this season of laziness will pass. I haven’t fallen off the wagon, I’m resting. I’m not angry with myself or judging myself harshly for this lazy phase; I’m looking forward to getting back on track because for the first time this isn’t about losing weight but about doing what healthy people do.

My food consumption has been mindless, and I’ve been craving sugar more than ever. I’m not sure why that is: habit, perhaps, and laziness. It’s easier to eat fast food without thinking than to be mindful; it’s easier to ignore what my body needs and eat what my nose likes the smell of, and I’ve been feeling lazy when it comes to food preparation. I ate chicken wings for dinner tonight, but I ordered a side of carrots and celery because I was craving them. It felt good to eat what my body wanted and stop when I was full, meaning that I have leftover chicken wings for tomorrow. I had coffee after dinner, and ordered a slice of lemon poppyseed loaf to eat with it, but after drinking the coffee I realized I didn’t need the cake, so I’m saving it for tomorrow too. Baby steps.

I’ve been working on loving myself as I mentioned, telling myself that I’m beautiful and awesome, just as I am, and it’s working, meaning that I’m believing it…most of the time. Even today with my air-dried and unstyled hair, I was able to look at myself in the elevator mirror at my workplace and send myself a loving and positive message. When I saw an impossibly slim yet quite curvy woman on my way to the restaurant for dinner, I tried not to wish I had her body, but instead admire her body as being perfect for her, and accept that my body, while not yet perfect for me, would be one day. And in the meantime I was going to love it as if it was the body of my dreams. It feels good to flood my body with love (though no one is surprised to hear this!).

In other confessions, my house still looks like I moved in mere months ago: the windows are uncovered, the walls remain bare (I haven’t even hung these up), my craft nook is cluttered, a spare television that a friend gave me is being used as a makeshift end table, I haven’t painted, my spare bedroom looks like a storage room and my thermostat and furnace need to be examined. I received my property tax bills for April to December 2009 and January to December 2010 and all I can say is ouch. Thank God that I didn’t buy a car or I’d be begging my sister for a loan to pay these atrocious bills. I’m not pleased but this is one of the privileges of home ownership, I’m told.

So there you have it, Jummy is still excelling at being her imperfect self.

Filed under: Beauty, flab gab, Health, Home decor, Mundane by jummy