It’s past 8:00pm on Canada Day and so far I have spent more than my fair share of the day in bed and on my couch, feverishly trying to finish reading a book that I’m supposed to write a guest blog post on in two days. It’s slow going: I’m on page 75 of 214, and reaching my deadline will undoubtedly involve an all-nighter. Why I do this to myself time and time again is beyond me.

I did some light housecleaning in an attempt to make my house look less like a junkheap. I know I have mentioned my packrat/clutterbug ways before. My clutter is so bad that twice now I have refused to answer the doorbell for fear that I’d have someone at my door that might actually expect to be let into my house, which would lead to them seeing my house for the natural disaster it is and cause them to immediately judge me. I wouldn’t blame them if they did though: I’m really a mess.

The first doorbell ring I ignored was Allison, but to be fair it was more than the state of my house that kept me from answering the door: I had just gotten home from our camping trip and I was boiling hot so I had removed all my clothing except my knickers and hiked my skirt up under my armpits (I’m not the only one who does this am I? Also: do not try to create a mental image). Needless to say, I was not dressed for company.

Allison left lovely flowers at my door. Today I got nothing.

My entries have been so uninspired and lacklustre. I have no excuses except that they reflect my rather lacklustre life. I make my life what it is so I can only say it’s my own lethargy that is to blame.

When I was exercising more regularly, I came up with rewards for reaching certain milestones, things like getting my eyebrows threaded (like waxing only better?), getting fitted for contact lenses so that they really are as good as wearing glasses, getting a pedicure, but I’ve decided that I deserve these rewards now. My eyebrows constantly make me want to weep and although I love my glasses, I also like how I look without them, and on sunny days I’d like to be able to wear sunglasses and be able to see (I don’t have prescription sunglasses, y’see). I also have a teeth whitening kit I need to try out too. My plan tomorrow is to make appointments to take care of my eyes and eyebrows.

I’ll be starting a Learn to Run program with my colleague in late July. It’s a 10-week program that’ll bring us right to the end of September, when I may or may not be going on a trip (more info when things are confirmed). My hope is that if I keep this up I’ll be able to shed some pounds and this may have the effect of making me want to do my workout dvds more regularly for strength training purposes (guess who’s fallen off the workout wagon again?). I haven’t run in a very long time so I’m a bit afraid but it’s a learn to run program so I should be ok.

I went for dinner with a friend a couple of days ago. She knows what it’s like to carry some extra weight so we can talk up a storm on weight-related issues. The question I asked her is how would it feel not to have the weight thing always rattling around in your head, especially when potential relationships are concerned. For me, when I’m doing the online dating thing, I feel it’s my absolute duty to communicate the fact that I’m plus-sized to any potential dates, and I probably go overboard in this. Until I meet the guy in person (and even after I meet him), I’m all worked up about how he will react to my weight—not to my annoying laugh or lack of coherence when talking—but to my size. The obsession is annoying, even to me. My friend said I’d probably obsess about something else if it wasn’t the weight and she’s probably right, but still, I wonder.

I’m trying to figure out what I can do to be a little patriotic today. Canada is a wonderful country and it deserves to be celebrated, even though we’re being hit with a tax increase on some things, effective today. Boo on the HST!

Filed under: Mundane by jummy