I haven’t worked out in 10 days and I’ve been eating a lot of sugary products (skittles were on sale and I stocked up. The five or six bags I purchased are gone now, and I can’t deny I regret not buying more). I don’t feel guilty about my laziness, per se, but I know I slept better when I was working out regularly and I also felt less sluggish.

Last week I was very defiant about not exercising, due, no doubt to the fact that I was feeling physically crummy (stomach cramps). I had no problem turning down offers to go for a walk, despite knowing that exercise is supposed to be good for alleviating cramping (though the thought of doing anything more than moaning in a horizontal position seemed like too much to ask).

Over the weekend there was a day when I didn’t go to bed until 7:00am because of that little distraction I’ve been working on, leaving me sleep-deprived, cranky and unmotivated to exercise.

But the above are excuses and I need to get back on the wagon. I’m dreading returning to the exercise dvd because I know it will be hard and I’ll be in pain again…but that’s the risk I took when I decided to give up exercising.

My colleague loaned me the book I mentioned in the last entry (Women Food and God) and I’m reading it…slowly. I’m resisting this book in a way I never did with the book on Mr. Good Enough. I don’t want to hear that I have to change my approach to food, even though it’s apparent that I’ll have to if I want to be able to wear a size that begins with a 1 sometime in my life (and I’m not talking about size 100!). I don’t like the part of me that shies away from things that are difficult, like losing weight, but the key to my success will be using all of me, including this part, to rebuild a version of me that can face her challenges and succeed.

But finding that motivation is difficult.

What else is going on in my life?

• My youngest brother turned 22 yesterday and the whole family went out for dinner. The times when the six of us are together are becoming rarer and rarer.
• I had my one-year home inspection last week and the builder is coming in this Friday to fix my mostly nit-picky issues. I’ve actually rethought some of my complaints and may be telling them not to bother because I’d rather have an almost imperceptible bump on my wall than the dark plaster that they’ll use to smooth things out (but that they won’t paint over because paint isn’t covered after a year)
• I am attending two weddings within three weeks of each other in Toronto. I’m looking forward to getting away.
• Bluesfest is back again and although I’m signed up to volunteer, none of the acts have grabbed my attention overly much.

Filed under: Family, flab gab, Operation Home for Jummy by jummy