On dealing with Professionals
February 13, 2010
I’m not known for being meek. I can be shy, sure, but ask me what I’d do in a situation where someone appears to be taken advantage of and you’ll hear my very loud opinion of the situation. I also have strong ideas about responsibilities that I think friends and family members have toward each other. I may have given these, unsolicited, to Amanda once or twice, or Shannon, or Ves, Rich, Eli… If you give me a scenario, I will usually have a fairly decisive course of action.
But even loud, abrasive girls named Jummy have their stumbling blocks, and mine seems to be Professionals, especially ones with a degree or certification in something I feel I know nothing about. If you are a financial planner or lawyer, for example, I will defer to you in those matters. You won’t hear a peep out of me regarding what I think is best, even though it’s my money or future that is at stake: I will trust your judgement. Basically Professionals stun me into silence, leaving me only capable of nodding or making other gestures of agreement when faced with suggestions.
In the case of the real estate agent, I thankfully snapped out of what felt like an abusive relationship, and came out otherwise unscathed. By this time tomorrow I’ll be out of a month’s worth of lunch money for the sake of a legal consultation, but all may not be lost as there is still a chance that I’ll also get the information I need. I handled the situation without finesse and wasn’t in control, even though I am the paying customer and should be the one holding the clout. I allowed myself to crumple in response to a guilt trip and subtle intimidation. I need more confidence when dealing with these people, and I need to stop acting like I’m brain-dead in certain areas, just because I don’t have a degree or certificate on the topic. The minute I start asking friends or colleagues for advice on a certain matter is usually when I know I’ve made a misstep along the way.
This is a definite stumbling block in my maturity as an adult.
(Oh, I got myself my iron pills and I’ve popped them! I’m practically not a procrastinator anymore!)
Well, that was an interesting read. I gotta tell you, I would not take any crap like that from my agent. I can be really mean when I want to be and when she tried to make me feel small, her made her stop immediately. We were in a professional relationship and nothing more. She got the point. Your agent sounds interesting at best. Sorry you had to go through such garbage but hopefully, it is over and you can now move on.
Yep, all this stuff, dealing with money and agents and lawyers and banks etc are all part of being a big girl. Most times I don't like it. I prefer being a little girl. :)
P.S., good stuff on the iron pill popping. Now you will have the energy you deserve.
I kind of get this way too with my lawyer for immigration – and when I get brave enough to ask questions, i feel like he just brushes aside my concerns. It's really frustrating, but I am not sure what else to do about it – GRR.