I allowed myself to be swept back into the dark and murky world of hardcore sugar consumption over a month ago, despite knowing that I’m doing myself no favours by continuing in this vein. If you knew how many times I’ve gone to the bulk food store in the last two weeks for candy, you’d be horrified. It got to the point where before entering I’d cross my fingers and hope I wouldn’t get the same cashier as the last time (just in case they get a kick out of memorizing who their customers were and what they bought).

I’ve also eaten out a lot in the past week. In the past six months I’ve been eating out less, and I was actually enjoying the routine of coming home and using the meagre contents of my kitchen to whip up something and experiment a bit. Because I’ve been getting home later, and I still haven’t gotten used to taking the meat that I want to use for a meal out the night or morning before I need to cook it, I turned to mini egg rolls, potstickers and breaded chicken for dinner instead of rice with a healthy side of broccoli, or my new veggie, steamed spinach. The good news is that I’m nearly out of unhealthy frozen food so I’ll be keeping it out of the house, just like I need to do with candy.

I’m not pleased with the sharp increase in the cost of veggies but this is a case where I’ll have to “suck it up” and pay premium prices for food that will be good for my insides, even if it means paying $2 for a head of broccoli that I paid 79 cents for a month and a half ago.

Of the unhealthy decisions I have made regarding what I put into my mouth, sugar is probably the one having the greatest negative effect on my body (and if I’m not careful, eventually my health). I feel like I’m ruining my skin, especially my face. Subconsciously I’ve let that knowledge be balanced by the “fact” that darker skin seems to hold up better than fairer complexions against aging elements, and I sort of used that as an excuse to eat whatever crap I wanted. Now that I’m nearly 30.5, I can see my face losing its youthful look. I’m a dermatologist’s dream due to all the wonderful eruptions going on on my face: whiteheads, blackheads, random stray hairs, oiliness, pain pimples, enlarged pores, often going on at the same time. I pick the aforementioned, which results in scarring. I touch my face too much which only encourages new breakouts. And I haven’t used the products my dermatologist recommended to me with any regularity so it’s no surprise my face is upsetting me.

But the best thing about life is that you can almost always have a do-over. I know that I am addicted to sugar and until I can find a way to release myself from that dependency, I will face this struggle regularly. Nothing wrong with a little struggling; I just have to make sure I don’t let sugar win.

Filed under: Beauty, Eating, Health, NaBloPoMo by jummy