On showing what my mama gave me
March 18, 2009
Dear friends who worked hard to give me the encouragement to show off my assets without cringing in maidenly fear,
I tried, I really did. I went to the two stores in the area that sell clothing catering to stylish plus-sized women and after trying on at least a dozen tops between the two places, I did not find a single one that received my sister’s approval or my own (and yes, we were both on board with the idea of me showing cleavage…maybe not as much as you would have shown without batting an eyelash, but we knew that I had to show more than I currently show — none). The tops were either too casual (think ‘tshirt’ in both material and cut) or too clingy (which is the kiss of death if you possess those dreaded back fat rolls). I should have taken pictures because I was so proud of myself for really trying (and also: so you’d have proof of my efforts).
I ended up wearing a (black) top that I already had at home. It had a seam (and a tie) right under the chest and was low cut so I showed a sliver of cleavage (you better back me up, Oya!). At the event, I kept pointing to people who in my opinion were showing far too much, and asking Oya to agree with me. She never did, which is highly vexing.
One thing that I did learn is that I need bras more suited to revealing cleavage. All my bras are the same style and I buy them to minimize and support, nothing more. I know! It’s a true travesty to those of you who have beautiful lingerie drawers. I agree, and envy you said pretty underthings, but my number one priority for as long as I’ve had this chest has been to not call attention to them and I think I’ve done well. However this means that I would not recognize a bra that “lifts and separates” if it smacked me in the face. In fact, I don’t even know if they make such things for plus size women…because the bra industry probably believes (like me) that plus size breasts should be kept under wraps too.
There is one specialty bra shop in the city that probably has what I seek, and I have been there twice now (once, when I thought I wanted a strapless bra, and again with a friend to get her a sexy bustier). The one thing that stuck with me was the ka-ching factor of the store. I have a house to furnish so I’ll have to put off seeking bras there for another five years. I will, however, keep my eyes open for affordable bras that will do what I need them to do. Perhaps I’ll get to the states this summer and see what the USA has to offer (on the cheap, naturally).
Yes you did show a tiny sliver of clevage but it could only be seen when you were sitting. I know that you did try though, shopping so late on friday nite :)
Jummy, are you coming to visit me in Pennsylvania this summer??
I adore my speciality bra shop – bravissimo.com
They don't measure people they look at you and have you try on loads of bras. I have the most comfortable bras now, they're stunning [and make me look it too!] and they weren't that expensive. I came away with two every day bras, a sports bra and a t-shirt bra. Love them all and I'd love to buy more.
I'd say you should go to the speciality shop in your city, get the size sorted out then hit eBay or other online shops. Department stores had my size very wrong.
I would love to open a boutique that caters to plus sized women that has ACTUAL clothes that flatter instead of these bizarre, nasty fabric tops and bottoms that some stores try to pass as fashion. It's really infuriating to me that finding clothes to fit my size 18/20 figure is so difficult. I want to look cute!
Jummy, I am glad to hear your showed a "hint". Better than nothing. :) I agree, the clothing for plus sized women is horrible. And very expensive. I used to hate shopping.
I think there might be more stylish plus size things soon. They recently held a plus size model search and the winner was announced at Toronto's LG Fashion Week a few days ago.
http://prospere-magazine.com/2009/03/19/plussizem…
While the work the winner is getting is probably along the lines of catalogue and fit, many people I've spoken with seem to think that there might be more stylish/designer-like clothes coming soon.
1. Congratulations on letting "the ladies" out – even if it was just a sliver!
2. I have issues finding bras that fit and i hardly have boobs at all. I think its some kind of bra conspiracy.
@ Deidre: Yeah, I completely agree with you. I have a really small band size, and bras for my band size only exist in training bra sizes and styles. I'm not an AA cup anymore, and even if I WERE, I wouldn't want to wear little girl styles. I'm a GROWN WOMAN for goodness sakes!