Fear gets in the way
February 6, 2009
I have an idea of what I think would be a neat little side business to start. Why do I need a side business? Because I’ve decided (re-decided?) that I’d like to become fabulously wealthy and be able to afford cruises of the Mediterranean, annual trips to Nigeria and be able to give my parents fabulously extravagant gifts.
I contacted two people who are doing something similar to what I have in mind and they gave me some helpful information. At this stage I should write a small business plan and give myself goals to go with the plan and get rolling, right?
Of course. But I’m afraid of a couple of things. First, I don’t want to try this out and have it fail due to complete lameness of idea. What if I invest a bit of money and it’s an absolute flop? Will I regret the time, effort and money put into something that doesn’t take off as I hoped it would?
My other fear is that I may be one of those people who just can’t create. That I’m pushing myself too hard to be creative when I really don’t have a talent in that direction. God knows I don’t have talent in the analytical/scientific/mathematic direction (the Biochemistry degree was hard-won) so I’m starting to wonder what I’m good at. Everything I want to do and try to do seems to be a struggle (except blogging). It’s starting to look like I’m one of those people who doesn’t have a talent or aptitude in any one direction.
With regard to being creative, I sometimes have a picture in my head of what I want to create but my experience has been that what I like in my head doesn’t always translate well into reality: in my head it seems so cool, hip and chic; before my eyes it’s boring, unimaginative and dull. You may think I’m being too hard on myself but I’m actually not upset or depressed. This is just a stating of the facts as I know them.
Another thing that really kills my will to create is my quest for perfection. This of course is laughable to anyone who knows of my legendary procrastination skills, or my inability to achieve my goals, but yes, I have a strong (albeit picky) perfectionistic streak: if perfection means always arriving on time, and having a clean and tidy living area, I am nowhere close to perfect, but once I’ve started working on something (not to be confused to talking about working on something), I have to do it right. I will do many drafts, I will critically evaluate my finished product for weaknesses, I will refine my little heart out until I think I’m providing a most perfect result. But guess what? No one cares! I see lots of people selling things that are “not perfect” all the time on sites like etsy. Things that I would turn my snobbish nose at if it were in my workspace, that I would toss in the garbage and start again.
But people like the imprefection. They know what they’re getting and they’re ok, more than ok, with it. So why am I holding my self and my work to standards that are high to achieve? Why am I duplicating work needlessly until I get the perfect result? It’s exhausting and not at all beneficial. It’s go to stop, so that I can move on.
I think that dissatisfaction with the finished piece is often a trait creative people have. Finding out how to create something you like without picking it to death takes time and effort, I think!
Everything I’ve ever seen that you’ve made has been very appealing. I bet a lot of things that you’ve rejected as not good enough were really excellent, too.
But this is a personal journey you’re on. I’m not sure what the answer is, but you are asking good questions in this post.
I want to encourage you to further explore and pursue this business idea you have, if it’s something that you might enjoy. I think you are much more likely to regret never trying it than you would regret it if it didn’t work out exactly how you hoped. If you try it, you are certain to learn and grow no matter what happens.
“I think that dissatisfaction with the finished piece is often a trait creative people have.”
I Totally agree with Emma on this.
Like they say, “You will never know until you try” and until you try, the fear will always be there.
You always make such pretty things! Not sure what your actual business idea is but you definetly have a way with crafts. I totally agree with Oya “You will never know until you try”.
I know how hard you would work if you actually pursued this. Don’t let your fears stop you from trying something like this out. What’s the worst that could happen?
Sometimes when I procrastinate or won’t publish something because I think it’s not perfect, I think what I’m really am is just plain scared, scared of succeeding just as much as I’m scared of failing. I have to give myself stern lectures that when I’m 85 and looking back, I’ll regret not trying a lot more than I’ll regret failing at something. It doesn’t make it any easier, but I feel less uncertain. Go for it.
Go for it Jummy! Live fearlessly!