This is probably not the best time to write this, when my emotions are at the surface. And no, it’s not even anything that dramatic or intense, this is just what happens when you’re Jummy.

I put a reserve on a house and I am not excited about it. In fact, I’m the least excited about the whole house hunting process than I have ever been. Perhaps some people saw this coming but I just feel very down.

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Background:
Since I last spoke about house hunting, I found a real estate agent. Yesterday, she took me to see two resale terrace homes (lower units) that are a year old. I didn’t like them as much as the front runner’s lower unit. Agent then found out that there were three upper units (brand new, never lived in) available to be seen. We went to see them. They are a bit bigger than the front runner, and quite nicely laid out. I have no complains about them. I (?) decided to reserve one of them.
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There are some things I could blame for my current feelings:

• the fact that I spent 2.5 hours with two people who I felt wanted me to make a decision (though they truly weren’t pressuring me). I didn’t like knowing that if I buy they would benefit and wondering if that is why they were both so sure this was the place for me (I mean I know this is how the business works but seeing it in person wasn’t enjoyable. And don’t get me wrong, they were nice people…I just feel weird somehow.)
• The house is more expensive than I thought it would be but I know that when I slap the upgrades that I want on the other front runner, the prices will be comparable. I guess seeing what it would cost to get things upgraded was a bit too real.
• The condo fees are double what the front runner’s fees are. This is because it includes some things (such as water) which the front runner does not, but since the amount is double (and more than what I imagined the front runner’s fees getting up to in the five years I plan to own the place) I’m a bit wary, wondering if I wouldn’t be better off with something without condo fees (yes, even though I know that a: it would still be a lot more than what I’ll be paying, b: it wouldn’t include central air or five appliances, c: it wouldn’t include snow removal or lawn mowing (though I’d have a garage and a lawn to call my own)…argh.)
• All the forms that I had to fill and/or sign. Putting a reserve on a place is in no way binding but from the 17 different sheets (literally—I counted) I had to sign and/or initial, you would think that I’m the proud owner of the place. And then I had to fill out and sign a bunch of forms with the agent. And you know when you have to sign something with lots of fine print and you’re told to take your time reading it but you can’t really read and take details in when there’s someone there who is waiting for you so you just skim and sign and hope that you’re fine with everything? That’s how I felt. It was all just too much for an evening that I thought was going to be more of a “let’s see how the upper units compare, and see if you like them” excursion.

And yes, the feelings of uncertainty are so bad that I’m thinking that living at home isn’t that bad. Well, living at home was never something bad (to me); I just know I have to fly the coop someday, and “by age 30″ seemed like a reasonable enough time to me (though by society’s standards I’m quite the late bloomer).

The point of all this? Who knows. I have a pounding headache and I feel awful. I am not happy at all. I’m taking my parents and sister to see the place tomorrow if they’re free. I think I know what their reactions will be. The agent would like to be there but I sort of want to just have the freedom to look at the places with my family without any commentary or questions from anyone. I guess even if she comes, I can ask her to let me look alone with my family first, and we can talk later.

You might be wondering why I put a reserve on a place that isn’t the front runner I mentioned?

Well, this new place is bigger and much nicer from the outside. The upgraded items are already included in the house (and its price!) whereas I know it’ll inflate the price of the front runner. (So to that end we stopped by the office of the front runner and asked them to give me a quote for the upper unit with the upgrades I’m interested in. They need 48 hours to do this). The new place is in a more established neighbourhood, on a nice street. And well putting a reserve on it was no-risk so why not right?

So why do I feel so awful?

Filed under: Operation Home for Jummy by jummy