I was reading over my (written) journal from 2001/2002 and I was struck by the things that are still the same from that time, things that I definitely thought would be different. I still live at home, I still don’t have my full driver’s license (though I’m so much closer to getting it today than I was then), I’m still overweight, and I still work at the same part time job.

This last one is a bit of a shocker, even to me. The years have managed to dull the feelings of shock somewhat.

Back in 1999 I was working at a grocery store, Farm Boy. My highschool friends thought it was hilarious to mock me for working there but I didn’t let that stop me from working there for five years. I ended up leaving Farm Boy eventually to devote myself fully to retail job at the clothing store. As a plus sized girl, I had struggled all through highschool to find clothing that was cool and actually fit. One of my friends from that group of friends that accepted me in spite of my geeky tendencies was also plus sized and she always shopped at this clothing store. It was because of her that I started shopping there and while their clothing was never as cool as the cool kids’, just finding clothing that fit and wasn’t granny style was a boon. I was a beggar and therefore not so choosy.

It turned out that my mom knew the manager of one of the store locations and because of that it was easy for me to get the job. She left soon after she hired me, however, and I stayed on and have done so for the past nearly nine years. I still see my old manager, and the first question out of her mouth is always to ask if I’m still at the store. My answer of course is always in the affirmative.

In my almost nine years at the clothing store, I have seen many managers come and go, at least 15 of them. The number of employees who have worked for a couple of years, or a month or two, or half a shift, or an hour (in one case) and left is also staggering (turnover is notoriously high in retail). I have managed to be something of an institution there and I have mixed feelings about this.

I have seriously considered leaving for few years now, but too much crying wolf on my part means that nobody actually believes it will ever happen. A couple of things that stop me from handing in my notice are:

I like being on the “inside”
My friends Ves and Richard find this hilarious because I was silly enough to tell them that when I walk into the store, even when I’m not working, and walk into the back room, I feel like the other customers are thinking “Who’s that girl strutting into the back room? Lucky her!” (No, my insanity has not been diagnosed yet.) I like the insider perks of working there, such as the 50% discount off the clothing, getting to be the first person to try on an item I decide to buy, and putting it away even before it is put on the sales floor, and getting inside information on when new clothing lines will be expected and when big markdowns will occur.

It’s easy work and I actually like it
Because the shifts I work are generally on weeknights or on Sundays, all of which are slow times for this store, I spend a lot of my shift walking around tidying, something that I enjoy doing. Sometimes I even get customers in the store that I can interact with, something I really enjoy. Because I’ve never worked in retail full time for long stretches, I still enjoy it and don’t hate all human beings.

Sometimes friends drop by the store to visit and that’s always great. The job could never be accurately described as fast-paced, and it is certainly not stressful. Employees are not paid on commission, and depending on the manager currently reigning, there is rarely a lot of pressure to sell a certain amount. And even when managers who care about sales are in charge, I don’t stress because I’m used to working a three and a half hour shift on a Monday night when no customers at all enter the store. It’s very hard to sell when you don’t see anyone to sell to.

I get what I want
Ok, that’s not 100% true. The pay is atrocious. Really, really awful. So awful that I’m embarrassed to divulge it. What I do get are the shiftsI want. I don’t work Friday evenings or Saturdays. Back when I was working more often, I would tell the manager the maximum number of hours I could work and the managers would always accommodate me (except when it comes to the darn pay increases!). When other things come up such as volunteering for Bluesfest, the managers have generally worked around my other schedule. I think because I am a good employee (I show up, I don’t quit in the middle of shift, I don’t steal money from the cash register, I don’t call in sick to travel to Newfoundland to meet a guy I met off the internet) they are willing to work with me.

I gives me my spending money
I know I complained about how little I make there (and really the hourly wage is minuscule! teeny!), but back when I was working there 12+ hours a week I managed to make enough every paycheque that it became my “fun money to spend on things like daily lunches and craft supplies. Now my paycheques barely cover lunch for two days but still I continue to work there.

BUT, I keep thinking that if I were to purchase a car sometime before the government decides to give me one for free because they think it’s pathetic that a 52 year old woman has never known the joy of owning her own automobile, my clothing store money could actually pay my monthly car bills, though that would mean I’d have to work 15 hours a week consistently, leaving my full time job to pay my bills and to save for a house, which is what I currently do. Although, since I’m barely working at the store lately, I’ve been using money I could be putting in my savings account for lunches.

If working there is so great (well, except for the pay thing, which really, really sucks), why have I been thinking of leaving? Any guesses?

Filed under: Job by jummy