When I was gushing about my banner, I mentioned that it was all SAJ‘s conception, that I had nothing to do with the idea. In her email she said

I’m drawing you reclining… lots of curves. Would you prefer to be doing something industrious than reclining? I’m making you a sexy vamp but if you are more the book reading crafting computering sort I can quickly change directions.

Of course, I’m actually very much the latter person she described, and not at all a vamp, so my immediate response was to say “You better draw the me you describe in the latter part of your email because that’s who I am”. Me as a vamp? Never! I don’t even like (my) cleavage! But I knew Brenda’s talent was enormous and I was curious to see what she had in mind so I asked her to please continue with the direction of her thoughts.

And of course you can see the result.

I received three thought-provoking comments after I put up the banner, two on this site and the other via gmail chat. I’ll share them then go into a commentary.

The first one was from Vanessa, who said “You ARE as sexy as your banner!”. The second was from a friend that I met online back in 2005, then met in person the following year when I went to Maryland. She’s gotten to know me fairly well and we had the following conversation:

Her:
she looks very confident
like she is comfortable with herself
Me:
it was all the artist’s doing…i gave her no direction at all
she does read your blog to get an idea of the person…do you think she was trying to tell me something?
Her:
u should learn from cartoon jooms
she is a diva
Me:
heh…i’m going to use your words for an entry! and indeed finds herself attractive
Her:
lol

Nora said the following:

Awesome Banner Jummy! and I’d say she did a good job of making you look as gorgeous in the picture as you do in real life – except there’s a little more sparkle to your smile. =) So for the readers out there she is just hiding behind her “excuse”, but once she gets over it – watch out world!

And now the commentary:

I forget where I read or heard someone say “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you” (it was undoubtedly a romantic movie with no basis in reality) but isn’t that the way it is with our friends? We don’t see the sloppy dressing, lack of rhythm or dark under-eye circles, those little things: when you know someone well and consider them a friend you see the person within. You see those good parts that shine far brighter than any other parts, the parts that your friend will invariably blow out of proportion. You see the kindness they show you or others, you see the part of them that tries to make you laugh through the pain or sadness, all the good parts that they declare isn’t them. You see the beauty they claim not to have and are genuinely surprised that they don’t see it themselves. You ache that they could speak so disparagingly of themselves and not recognize how splendid they are.

That was the message I got from these comments. It was a “Wake up and see yourself the way you really are, instead of focusing on those little things that are just a part of you, Jummy! Give the good parts of you more credit, don’t be afraid to tease out the parts of you [sexiness?] that you don’t think you deserve to have or feel because you’re not a size 10. Be the person you are today and love that person to death because we do!”

It’s a hard lesson but thanks to the banner and the comments of friends, I’ll think of it and try to remember it from day to day.

Filed under: Friends, Introspective by jummy