I really appreciate the comments on the last entry. I even got a phone call comment from a friend who didn’t want to put her thoughts online but wanted me to know how she felt about what I had written. It was encouraging and I know I can do it (right?): I just need to actually jump in (and really when you’ve been saving and planning for this for a couple of years it’s not really ‘jumping in’ is it?).

I just wish I wasn’t so damn slow at making things happen: I have friends who will be on their second home by the time I get around to starting the process of house hunting (and that’s even if I stick to my goal of buying by this year or early next year).

I’m feeling overwhelmed with life actually. There was a scary article that I talked about on LTD that connected being overweight to living in a cluttered environment and what a surprise—I fully relate! I’m hoarder of horrifying proportions and it’s no wonder that I feel overwhelmed by both life and stuff, and every new thing that I bring into the room just adds to my frustration that there is no physical space to store things without resorting to stacking them up in a way that turns my room, my so-called sanctuary, into a packrat’s dream.

I’m tempted to rent some storage space (or find more space in the shed) for the things I absolutely want to bring into my own home, and do a great big purge of the rest. I got rid of one box of highschool material (I know! What am I holding on that stuff for?!) and it felt good though nostalgia made me take a few pictures of my writing, which changed from month to month back then. I was am so easily influenced writing-wise by the girls I admired—I copied Krista’s bubbly writing because I wanted to be slim, organized and cute like her; I imitated Katherine’s all caps writing because she was athletic, quiet and smart. I am still an imitator of those I want to be like, whose lives I want. I hope one day I can just be me and be cool with that.

Anyway, since this is the most all over the place entry ever, let me end it by saying that I’m going skiing again. I ski once a year thanks to work and the time has arrived yet again. My goals for today are to stay upright and avoid breaking a leg, despite all the good luck wishes I’ve received to that effect.

Filed under: Goals, Introspective, Mundane by jummy