I’m looking for love in all the wrong places so far, namely an online dating site for Africans. Nearly all the men that have expressed interest are ineligible because of location, age or religion. That’s ok because I remain optimistic. And I’ve been reading these self help books.

I read Better Single Than Sorry and that book reinforced my decision that I’d rather remain single than be in a relationship that does nothing for me. I already knew that before but it was nice to hear if from someone who is considered “a catch”, at least on paper: slim, blonde-ish, smart, etc. If she is single because she hasn’t found someone worthy and I am single because I haven’t found someone worthy, we’re both in the same boat, no matter that she’s slimmer/more attractive/more confident than I.

I moved on to Life Doesn’t Begin Five Pounds From Now for obvious reasons (we could replace 5 with 105 for me but let’s not quibble). (My) weight has always been an issue to me, and I have let it control what I can and can’t do. From what I think I can wear, to what activities I can do, to whether or not I can date, my weight has always been an important determining factor. As I’ve gotten older, the ridiculousness of my rules has hit me, and this book was sort of like having a friend reinforce what you suspect and pretty much believe, but aren’t 100% sure you’re correct about. This book was all about banishing what the author called the Language of Fat from your vocabulary, and how when you say “I feel fat” or make any comment about your weight, you’re likely using this language instead of expressing other emotions such as “I’m nervous about this date/job interview/upcoming operation” or “I want love and validation”. It’s not a fat acceptance book but a kick in the pants to stop allowing weight to limit you from doing anything you want to do.

I’m currently reading Not Tonight Mr. Right (I’m itching to add a comma to that), a hilarious book by a Brit. The book’s premise is that if you wait before having sex, the quality of your relationship will be much better. For those who have no intention of waiting for marriage before having sex with their partner, she suggests waiting six months before having sex. She also talks about those who wait until they’re engaged or married before having sex. Before you write her off, I’d recommend you read her book. She answers a lot of questions you may have about the logistics of making this happen. If a particular question pops into your head I can look up her answer and get back to you. I’m not yet finished this book but so far I’m enjoying it, and laughing up a storm while reading it.

What are you reading? Does your reading often have themes (like a chick-lit theme, or self improvement, or non-fiction, etc)?

Filed under: Reading & Writing by jummy