I read a blog entry by someone whose mother is dying, and this got me thinking. Am I the only one who doesn’t find it comforting, when I’m going through a really rough time, to hear someone else’s story about how they or somebody they know has gone through the same thing? Oftentimes, these people aren’t sharing stories of how their coworker/friend/relative triumphed over their experience (and even if they were, tell me this once the news has had a chance to sink in; not while I’m still digesting it); they are just saying “So-and-so lost their wife and they were inconsolable with grief.” Is that really what someone who is suffering with their own sorrow needs? I don’t find it comforting to know that my situation is not uncommon, that this happens all the time, even though I know in my head that it does.

If you want to be comforting to someone who is down, just be there. You don’t have to fill in the silence between sobs with words, just your presence and the odd back pat/rub is enough.

Filed under: Outrospective by jummy