Dear couple who sat behind my sister and I in the movie theatre tonight,

I didn’t even blink as I chose to sit in front of you.  Why?  Because you looked like a married, well established couple, one who would respect the first rule of the movie theatre, to be quiet!  Oh, how you fooled me!

From his continuous murmured comments, that seemed to be giving a commentary or translation of the events on the screen (I suppose a larger movie screen would have relieved you of that duty; a screen the size of an entire wall simply isn’t enough) to her continuous questions (which he didn’t hear) and which he had to grunt audibly so we could all know he didn’t hear, you both really made watching the movie a treat.

Now, I’ve never been accused of being a quiet person but surely you heard my shhhs?  And when I turned to you and glared, that was not an intent on my part to make friends during movie.  Did you see the glares and stares from the other patrons?  How about my hissed “Shut the eff up!”?  Did you hear that?  I know, why do I ask, since you continued your dialogue for the entire movie.

Oh wait!  That’s not entirely true is it?  The minute the lead actor and actress started to kiss, the two of you bolted from your seats so fast, I was praying it was to slap the seven girls several rows in front of us who couldn’t stop gasping, giggling and loudly plunking themselves down into their seats (I already sent them their letter, don’t worry about that).  But no, instead, you left the theatre, never to return.  I shan’t speculate on what caused you to leave, but I do have two things to say about your departure:

Thank you.  I hope you weren’t hurt by the whispered giggling that several of us engaged in as you left.

and

Now you’ll never know how the movie ended (sure it was a romantic comedy but maybe this wasn’t a typical one).  I know!  You can rent it when it comes out on dvd.  And please, when you do, talk loudly over it for its entire duration.  I won’t mind.

Fondly,

Jummy

Filed under: Mundane by jummy