Matchmaking
May 6, 2007
I read an article today about how, when you’re almost 30 and single, your friends and family all want to set you up with ‘eligible’ people. The author expressed that this was both a compliment and an insult: the former because they want you to have what they think is missing in your life and the latter because they think leaving this task of finding an eligible up to you would be like expecting an alcoholic to choose tea over tequila at the next soiree (especially if this event is an open bar affair).
Since I do not have friends trying to set me up, single and nearly 30 as I am, and I’m not yet prepared to enter the world oozing “I’m available and looking” (unless, a guy were to find my blog, that is), I will instead ask you if you have ever set up a couple and how that turned out. Did the couple stay together? Did either part of the couple feel the need to keep you posted on the progress of the relationship? If the result was a breakup, did it affect your relationship with either person after the fact?
I have never set up a couple, or at least not one that I would feel confident taking the credit for having set up. Two very good friends probably would not have met were it not for me, but other than being friends with both of them, I didn’t do much else. Another friend met her husband in a club, a club that she attended with my sister and I. My sister has taken full credit for that set up because she postulates that my friend and I would not have gone to the club as a twosome (she’s right too), so had she not gone with us, we would not have met my friend’s husband. All my sister and I did was dance until he came and snatched her away from us in a show of emprise. [You can see how fortuitous it is that we had a third person...otherwise I would have left dancing alone, then slinking off the dancefloor.]
I have attempted to matchmake over the years, also with lacklustre results. I think this is because I end up doing it online more than in person, through hints and joking comments made on IM or through emails. In-person matches are proving difficult because I don’t have any single friends who would actually be compatible with each other.
I must expand my horizons, and perhaps cast my net wide enough to snag a fella for me too.
(in case you can’t tell, I’m sporting a twist tie engagement ring)
The twist tie engagement ring is lovely, Jooms, and I think you should market it for ladies in our position!
I have never successfully set someone up but I have frequently been set up. Once a set up resulted in the entire escapade that I refer to as my Other Life, so it's safe to say that a set up or two has led to some life altering alterations for me.
I've never set anyone up, probably because I don't have a big enough social circle to risk a relationship and ensuing tumultuous breakup. I suppose with my breakup track record, I'm scared of tumultuous breakups, LOL
Loving the engagement ring…Would strike up some curiosity!
Miss ya, so… :-/
hmmm – so you're curious eh? I guess you have it on your mind.
I personally don't really set up people, though I try to bring my single friends around to social gatherings more often (increase their chances of meeting a nice guy, or girl).
Nice photo!
Matchmaking can be a hazardous occupation. Do it wrong and not only are two people at odds with each other, they might just blame you for the trouble :(
I've never intentionally got two people together, but I have introduced people who have ended up together. One couple stayed together for a couple of years. The other got engaged within three weeks of their first date and are now happily married with two children (the two in question happen to be my closest friends at the time).
People have tried to set me up, I think it worked more often than not. But it's only happended on a few occasions. Setting people up works best when you don't really try. Personally, I prefer people not to say, "I've got a friend who really likes you, come and meet him/her". This approach sets all kinds of expectations which get in the way of people finding out who they are. I thnk the best way is just to meet up as a group, introduce people who don't know each other, and do little else from there onwards. If they like each other, you'll find out sooner or later and then you can always arrange another outing where they can exchange details if they haven't already.
Just my two pence…