Facebook: reconnecting enemies, one click at a time
April 24, 2007
Facebook is officially banned from my work. What a shame that I got into it scant months before its departure.
Other websites that I have discovered are off limits to me at work include myspace (which I don’t use), youtube (which I used to use to search for music to play whilst at work) and flickr, that wonderful photo sharing website. When I try to access certain websites in the 451 Press network, I sometimes get blocked too, and the reason is related to the site’s classfication as advertising or music sharing or file sharing.
Why do people who either teased you or ignored you in highschool or before suddenly have a hankering to be a friend of yours? I don’t understand this. I don’t believe that the recipient of (cruel) teasing remarks, betrayal or mockery, ever forgets it, even years later. It doesn’t mean that I relive the experience regularly, thankfully, but I neither get a big smile or a frown on my face when my tormentor’s name comes up, nor would I ever deliberately spend time thinking about somebody I disliked in the past today (because naturally, my time is occupied thinking about the people I currently dislike today).
Why do you think these bullies and hateful people suddenly reappear, almost 10 years later (good heavens, has it been that long?), wanting to be your friend on a social networking site? Is it, as one friend suggested, because they recognize your name and are adding you to their list of friends just to increase the numbers of people they know? Do they plan to continue their torment years later (highly unlikely, I’d say)? Did they secretly think you were cool/admire you/have a crush on you in the past, and are now ready to deal with that (questionably flattering, but also unlikely)? Or was it simply a random event, an impulsive action following some inchoate pondering, a fleeting feeling of nostalgia that was indulged?
Whatever it is, it’s weird. And I haven’t yet decided how to respond.
I had someone email me a few years back that falls in pretty much this same category. I just didn't email her back. I didn't see the point. We never got along before, had no good memories to share, plus she dated a friend of mine for a long time and was reportedly horrible to him, so I really didn't feel like chatting with her. I was torn between letting bygones be bygones and giving it a shot, but in the end, I just didn't. What can I say? I wasn't big enough to go there, and I'm probably still not!
P.S. I'm in a somewhat similar situation again too…a bit different. Someone I was friends with 7 years ago and lived with for some months just listed me as a friend on facebook, but we didn't really part as friends. We kind of drifted apart, then long story short, something happened which caused some bad feelings, on my part anyways. So now I'm not really sure I want to get into it again. Is this a test to see if I've grown??? I'm still thinking…and not logging into facebook in the meantime!
P.P.S. Cool, it looks like I'm up really late posting this, but it's only actually 10:50 pm here! Okay, I'm done now, promise!
send em a message , hey you were mean to me pal buzz off
wg=inchoate
I am refusing to get facebook, and this is one reason why. I was never the most popular person in highschool or public school, and I really wonder… Do I want to be put bac into contact with a bunch of people who made my life miserable? I think not.
I would simply not acknowledge the request, if that is an option. I can think of a number of people in high school who I would love to fill their gas tanks with sugar. If I found out where they were today, I fear that I might.
Clearly, I have no grown since then. Howeber, cruel treatment is hard to overcome, and I am clearly no a big enough person to have overcome it.
I'm actually OK with that.
Amanda
WG: inchoate