Speaking of the part time job, the one thing I hate [and somewhat shamefully love] about working in the retail sector, besides the generous discount, company car, stock options and my choice from a catalogue of attractive boy toys, is that gossip is rife.  This both works for and against you because even if you are not gossipworthy, the very act of working in an environment where cattiness and an ability to talk about someone behind her back is one of the conditions of being hired, ensures that you will be talked about sometime, by a subset of your coworkers, even if it’s just to say how boring you are.

Lately we’ve been indulging in some gossip about a coworker because she is proving to be bipolar.  I know I’m moody [talking to me in the morning is a good way to ruin your week] but this woman takes the cake!  She’ll be normal one moment, and witchy the next and just when you think “Gosh, could this person possibly say anything more rude/insulting/insensitive”, her mouth opens and all I can encourage you to do is duck for cover, call your mommy and book an appointment with a shrink because you will need all three if you plan to make it through the rest of the day.  Ok, what I’m saying is she plays the intimidation game well.  She recently intimidated me and that’s usually hard to do at this particular job because I’ve worked there longer than anyone by a solid four years, I’m known there for my attention to detail and my good work ethic [they don't have internet access there you see] and it’s just not an area of my life that I lack confidence in [in case you couldn't tell from all my bragging].

What I don’t like about the situation is that now, it seems I can’t talk about her with coworkers without it dissolving into a rant and rave fest.  And instead of stopping at “Yes, I didn’t like the way she treated me today” and perhaps making a mental note to discuss it with the perpetrator, one on one, I’ve instead allowed these sort of thoughts to come out while talking with coworkers and I’m not proud of that.

Instead of trying to solve this problem by expressing my concerns with the person, I’m fueling the fire of dissatisfaction and that is making me dislike working with her, something I never wanted to do.  I look at my job as something that I should enjoy doing, where I can be polite to and respectful of my coworkers, and where my personal feelings [hate 'em or like 'em] do not come into play.  Also, as a long time employee there, I should not be in the middle of this gossip and fanning its fires.  Instead, I should do what I’ve done for years and years:  encouraged the disgruntled to talk openly with the source of their displeasure and work it out.  And if they are too shy/nervous/intimidated/scared to follow my suggestion(s), I can do nothing more to help them.

I plan to revert back to this code of practice.  I will tell my coworkers that I have indulged in shameless gossiping with them and frankly enjoyed it and the rush I got from it, that I was experiencing some frustration and that is what resulted in my participating so enthusiastically in the gossipping.  However, I will now go to the source of my frustration(s) with my complaints and concerns instead of airing it with people who cannot actually help with a solution.  And I’ll encourage them to do the same.

I’m getting sick of the feelings that linger after a good gossip session, and the question that I always ask myself:  How would you feel if she could hear your every word, spoken exactly as you’re speaking them right now, Jummy?

I would not feel good at all.

Filed under: Introspective, Job, Outrospective by jummy